Family of murder-suicide victim Shirley Parkinson issues warning

It's been a year since Shirley Parkinson was killed by her husband of 27 yearsin a murder-suicide that shocked the town of Unity, Sask.,and forever changed the lives of herfamily members.

On the first anniversary of her homicide, Shirley's seven siblings are speaking publicly about theirsister's private struggle in a troubledrelationship that wouldultimately turndeadly.

I even said, if he does something to you, do you want to be buried together?- Mariann Rich, sister of Shirley Parkinson

On Sept.10, 2014, Donald Parkinson bludgeoned his wife to death in her sleep. He then spent hours trying to hide the crime in grisly fashion, according to family, and eventually shot himself when police were called to the acreage.

• Secret murder: RCMP said Shirley Parkinson homicide a private matter

Shirley's siblings don't want to dwell on how she died, but rather why it happened and whether it could have been prevented.

Red Flags

"There were warning signs that we didn't realize as big red flags until after," Shirley's sisterMariann Richsaid from her home in Edmonton."Depression, alcoholism, mental health issues of the perpetrator."

They hope to help other families clue into warning signs that they feel they missed or dismissed.

Shirley's siblings are calling for a formal review or inquest, something the coroner's office in Saskatchewan has never done for a domestic homicide.

• Domestic homicide spike a 'wake-up call' for Saskatchewan coroner

Always put others first

Shirley grew up on a farm in rural Saskatchewan, the eldest of eight children. She was the quintessential caretaker and homemaker, always putting others first.

Even through their tears, her siblings chuckle just remembering Shirley's boisterous laugh.

As a public health nurse in the town of Unity, population 2400, Shirley helped generations of families. She immunized babies, taught sex ed to studentsand gave flu shots to seniors.

Her husband Donald, originally from England, ran a tractor parts business known as British Tractors on the couple's acreage.

The siblings said Shirley, as a nurse, stayedwith her husband totry to help him, even as the emotional abuse escalated.

Depression and alcoholism

While the family is at a loss to pinpoint a trigger, they saidDonald changedafter both hisfather and beloved dog died.

He became withdrawn and refused to attend family gatherings.

Over time, he became increasingly isolated and depressed.

He criticized and ridiculed Shirley.

He drank more heavily. His temper became unpredictable and volatile.

Rich, a nurse like her sister, saidShirley could not get Donald to seek treatment for his mental health issues.

"Shirley thought she could cope with his illness, thinking she had learned how to not set him off," the siblings wrote in a letter. "She never dreamed that the abuse would escalate to murder."

Richsaid sheencouraged Shirley to leave her husband.

"I even said, if he does something to you, do you want to be buried together? Because I was trying really hard to make her realize the seriousness of the situation."

The couple wasn't buried together. The siblings couldn't stomach the thought, nor do they utter Donald's name in our interviews.

Safe exit plan

Some of Shirley's siblings believe she was finally leaving Donald when he killed her.

"Women need to know how to plan to get out safely, what the resources are, and most importantly to tell no one when theyare planning to leave as it is the most dangerous time," Shirley's siblings write in a letter.

Shirley's brother Alan Hewko and sister Janet Rodriguez both told CBC News they are haunted bymissed opportunities to intervene andwant to honour their sister by helping others.

Hewkoregrets respecting the couple's privacy and convincing himself to be tolerant of strange behaviour.He wishes he had asked Shirley or Donald uncomfortable questions.

Rodriguezgave Shirley literature about support groups, but encourages others to be more assertive in getting their loved ones to see a counsellor or psychologist.

Call for action

The Coroner's office has concluded its investigation into this murder-suicide and did not deem it necessary to make recommendations or call an inquest.

The family says every case warrants review.

Shirley is one of six women murdered in Saskatchewan in the past year, three in murder-suicides and three allegedly by their present or former partner.

"Each case should be examined so that as a society we learn not only the warning signs but begin to understand what is needed in our system to prevent it all together," the siblings write. "Nofamily needs such deep grief and pain."

Here's the letter written by Shirley Parkinson's siblings