British Columbia

Charles the Butler: 10 tips for successful dinner parties

Professional butler Charles MacPherson says both hosts and guests have responsibilities to each other

Posted: October 07, 2015

There is always a place for good manners and general etiquette.

That's according to Charles MacPherson, who has been a professional butler for more than 25 years, and also runs a school for butlers and household managers.

Known as Charles the Butler, he is also the author of the bestseller The Butler Speaks, as well as The Pocket Butler: A compact guide to Modern Manners, Business Etiquette and Everyday Entertaining.

Here are some tips from the Butler himself for both hosts and guests to have a dinner party that is an all-around success:

1. Give people a category of food

If hosting a potluck: "As a host, make sure you tell people the category of what you want them to bring: 'Bill can you bring a vegetable dish, Mary can you bring a dessert, Carol can you bring something for us to start with.' You need to be specific.'"

2. Bring the meat

"As the host it's always your responsibility, even in a potluck event, that you provide the meat for the main course"

3. Welcome guests

"When guests arrive, welcome them, try to have a place where they can put their coats, their shoes, their boots."

4. Drink in hand

"And try to get a drink in everyone's hand."

5.  A gift doesn't have to be big

"If you're going to bring a hostess a gift: It's a token, it's not a big present, and remember your host doesn't have to use your gift during that particular event. It's a gift for them."

6. Make introductions

"While your guests are mingling around, make sure that they have someone to talk to, so make an introduction: 'Bill this is my friend John, he's a downhill skier like yourself.'"

"Give them a reason why you're introducing them, and give them the topic of something to start on."

7. Make conversation

"Remember as a guest it's always important to be more interested in listening to others, rather than trying to be interesting and being the show of the event."

8. Seat people strategically

"It doesn't have to be formal with names and place cards for everyone, but think about where you'd like people to sit."

"The worst thing to happen is two people to end up side-by-side that aren't speaking to each other, because the table wasn't prearranged."

9. Don't be boring

For guests: "You need to be conversational. Read the newspaper, or listen to CBC Radio, so you have something to talk about."

10. Help to clean up

For guests: "Help the hostess or the host help to clear the dishes. Help to do the dishes. Don't just sit there, expecting to be served, because you're not in a restaurant.