Low loonie gives Trumpophobes a chance to test drive Canada: Don Pittis

The bored-looking man at the border didn't even blink when we told him the grand total of our purchases during a five-day trip to Pennsylvania was a measly $30. Evidently other cross-border travellersare alsodiscovering that even when you try to ignore it and enjoy yourself, a25 per centcurrencymarkupmakes shopping feel expensive.

Today isMemorial Day, part ofthe longweekendmarkingthe beginning of the U.S.driving seasonthatalways brings our American cousins north. But this year there is a double impetus. They can take advantage of the effect opposite to the onewe noticed during our visit south.And then there'sDonald Trump.

• Trump reaches magic number to clinch nomination
• Loonie dips as oil retreats, U.S dollar advances

A wave of Trump news at the end of last week was a reminder that The Donald is even closer to the White House than almost anyone expected a year ago.

Confident of a Trump victory

It is surprising how many peopleseem convincedTrump is actually going to win the election. Reasons abound, from sexist attacks onHillaryClinton that may keep some undecided voters at home to the idea that Trump, like BarackObama before him, will bring in supporters who are first-time voters.

But perhaps the story most ominous for Trumpophobeswas the newsthat the Chinese companyPartytimeLatex Art and Crafts is so confident of a Trump presidential victorythat it has geared up production of Trump masks and scaled back on those of other candidates.

Trial run

There are plenty of stories aboutAmericans planning to cut and run if Trump wins in November. There is even a company offering a Maple Match,the opportunity for Americans to escape"the unfathomable horror of a Trump presidency" by meeting and marrying a Canadian.

• Maple Match links Canadians with Americans fleeing Trump

Getting married to a Canadian and, worse, buying an overpriced Canadianhouse in a rush after a Trump win in November seems like a bit of a commitmentif you'renot really sure.

What if it turns out the new arrivalsjust can't stand people saying "aboot" instead of "abahowwt"?

What if they find they really don't care for having a pugilist as prime minister, or for the fact that Canadians are constantly saying, "Sorry"?

Legal pot?

What happens when they discover that a fill-up is still more expensive despite the exchange rate?

What happens when they discover that the Liberal talk about legalized cannabis was all just an election promise and that the drug squad is still busting people?

That's why driving seasonis such a wonderful opportunity. Americans can visit Canada, explore it for a few weeks and see the sights. But more important, they can seewhether they can adapt to all the differences.

All those extra u's in words likecolour and neighbour. The annoying absence of handguns. Remembering that soda is for baking and pop is for drinking. Figuring out what a chesterfield is.

Except for science grads, the metric system and Celsius thermometer will be a mystery at first. The advantage will be that, unless they bother to do the math, they won't realize they are being hosed ongas.

He's everywhere

It will give them the chance to come to terms with the idea that although universal medical care really is realand that it doesn't includedeath panels,it doesn't kick in until you've lived here for three months.

And the great thing is that with the loonieback down to 76cents US, they can givebeingCanadian a trial run while gettinga 20 per cent reduction on everything. Except gas. And houses. And books with those little stickers updating the "price in Canada."

• Reality TV politics givesTrump a shot atWhite House
• Trump faces bitter opposition from business fundraisers

For those trying a test drive to avoid Trump, there is one other thing to watch out for:the Canadian media is just as obsessed with The Donald as is the U.S. media.

And for my contribution, to any Americans Trumpophobesreading this,I'd just like to say, "Sorry."

Follow Don on Twitter@don_pittis

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