Selma Alem and Julie Tran's families dread first Christmas without them

Tormented, discouraged and grief-stricken,the familiesand friendsof Julie Tran and Selma Alem saythe agony of losing their loved ones is more poignant with the holidays approaching.

"She'd have spent Christmas with us, and Boxing Day because it's my birthday," said Susan Hills, Alem's best friend of 15 years who spoke for both families.

The two Calgary homicide victims' families say they're dreading their first Christmas without Alemand Tran.

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Alemcared forTran,who was developmentally disabled.Both women were stabbed to deathin Alem's Coventry Hills home in October. Alem's son, 30-year-old Emanuel Kahsai, faces one charge of first-degree murder and one charge of second-degree murder.

"She was my sister, we shared so much and Julie was like our daughter; we loved her tremendously," said Hills.

She's still traumatized by her best friend's gruesome death.

"I'm the one that's in charge of cleaning up her house, I'm the one that had to wipe blood off the wall," she said.

Alem had successfully sought a restraining order against her son, who had threatened her in the past and been violent towards her.

Kahsai made a brief court appearance today. Tran and Alem's friends and family sat together.

"We're one family now," said Hills.

Alem's other son, Michael, was killed a decade ago. In court documents supporting the restraining orderAlem sought against Kahsai, she told the judge that Michael's death was a turning point in her surviving son's life.

"I'm torn.It's a torment; part of me, I want him to rot," said Hills. "I have very many mixed emotions on this, but right now I have to do what my friend would have wanted and she just wanted him to get the help he needed."