My service dog changed my life, and then the unthinkable happened

This First Person article is theexperience of Alex Lytwynwho lives with cerebral palsyand is an ambassador for Manitoba Possible.For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please seethe FAQ.

Cerebral palsy makes small tasks turn into enormous challenges. How, for example, can I enter a store when I can't access the automatic door opener from my wheelchair?

This question used to overwhelm me.

On thatparticular day, afew customers walked by me, but just as I builtup enough courage to ask for help, they were gone.

To complicate matters even further, I wasembarrassed and unsure of myself. With a disability that confines me to a power chair, a speech impairment that at times sounds oddeven to my earsand hands that(I think)look like lobster claws, speaking up and asking for help is not easy.

Simple life aspects, such as having to wait for store doors to be opened, felt like I was just floating through the air and nobody saw me. My disability put a shield over me. Watching the world go by was common.

But not anymore. Four years ago, I applied to get a service guide dogthrough the Lions Foundation of Canada Dog Guides.

If I dropped an object, Fanta was right there to pick it up.- Alex Lytwyn

The process of getting matched with a dog is extensive.A dog's personality has to be the perfect fit for the person's needs.Each dog's particular set of skills can be customized to a certain extent. The trainers do their best to maximize the amount of independence that the dog can provide.

I was matched with a service dog named Fanta. With a wag of her tail, my life was enhancedfrom that moment on.

If I dropped an object, Fanta was right there to pick it up and place it on my lap. She'd pull the coat sleeves and help me get my arms out.I wasn'tstranded outside any type of establishment.Fanta would either open the door or bark for help to get someone's attention.

This was simply amazing.

Having cerebral palsy, there are a lot of times when my soul feltlonely. But then, Fanta filled my soul with optimism, happiness and independence.

And then the unthinkable happened.

It's not too often that this can be said, but I experienced a living nightmare. My dearest Fanta got sick. Up until this point, to me,Fanta had been bulletproof.

Despitecountless trips to the vet, Fanta got sicker by the day.She became weakto the point where she could not get up herself.This did not stop her from wanting to help meas best she could.When we would get home from the vet, she would get out of the van and then, with all her energy, she would wait for me to come down my van ramp and then heel beside me as we'd walk into the house together.

With Fanta's memory, I'll build myself back up.- Alex Lytwyn

One day, while lying in her bed beside me, she looked at me with her playful "I want to go for a walk"look.After the intense process of helping her stand up, we slowly walked to the door and went for a walk around the yard.

During that walk, Fanta and I could not take our eyes off each other. It felt like we were reminiscing about all the happy and helpful timesover the last four amazing years. Her energy level was extremely low, but she was still smiling and wagging her tail at me.

Later that night, Fanta got even weaker and went downhill even faster.She put her head on my arm, gave me a kiss, and while we were both looking into each other's soul, Fanta took her last breath.

Since Fanta's passing my life has been turned upside down and I have been an emotional wreck. Slowly, I know, with Fanta's memory, I'll build myself back up.

In the meantime, Fanta, this message is for you: Your endless love and caring opened my life doors and gave me access to endless possibilities.Thank you for helping me achieve freedom.I'll cherish and miss you forever. Love, Dad.

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