Family holds memorial for Audrey Desjarlais years after disappearance

The memory of Audrey Mary Desjarlais was finally honoured in death this weekwith both a healing circle and graveside memorial.

It was an emotional acknowledgement of her existence,one thatironicallywas missing in her life, family memberssay.

"I still don't know how she ended up here," her daughter Barb Desjarlais told the CBC, staring at her mother's grave. "Like whynobody noticed she was gone. Where are her friends? She always had friends before. How come they didn't notice she was missing?"

• Grieving daughter grateful for public support for Audrey Desjarlais

It's been about three months since a DNA test proved what Barb suspected for three years, that the body pulled from the Red River in June 2012, was actually her mother Audrey, who hadn't been seen in years.

The DNA testing took placeonly after a CBC investigation prompted police to finally respond to the daughter's plea that the remains be tested.

• Barb Desjarlais learns fate of missing mother in MMIW case through DNA test

This week, Barb, her stepfather Roland Kequahtooway, and her twin toddlers, drove to Winnipeg from Regina to pay their final respects.

Members of Winnipeg's indigenous community helped them with the effort. Staff from Ma MawiWi Chi Itata Centre opened their doors. Elder Leslie Spillett offered prayers.

Members of Manitoba Moon Voices sang and drummed. The evening wrapped up with a feast of bannock and soup.

But it was the visit to the cemetery on Saturday morning where Barb's grief exploded into anguish.

"I can't come back here again.I am never coming back here," she said. "It hurts too much."

Kequahtooway, however, said the efforts of Winnipeg's indigenous community complete strangers helped him with the healing.

"Last night was a blessing," he said about the prayer service. "It brings some closure to our little family."

He said while there is some closure, there are still so many questions that remain.

They know Audrey struggled with alcohol. They know she struggled with drugs. They know she got into trouble with the law. But they don't know how she ended up in the river.

Or whyfor years, no one but Barb believed she was missing.And most importantly, why no one can tell them how she spent her final days.

Kequahtooway said he hopes that someone, someday, will come forward with answers.

"Maybe something will click with somebody," Kequahtooway said. "And [the mystery]will click wide open, you know?"