Sex assault reports up at Winnipeg counselling centre

Winnipegs largest sexual assault crisis centre has seen an increase in women seeking counselling and support since the Jian Ghomeshi scandal broke but police arent seeing more women reporting to them.

Weve noticed some increase some noticeable increase with people coming forward and not necessarily wanting to report to police or those kinds of things, said Lorraine Parrington, who co-ordinates the sexual assault crisis program at Klinic. I think people are feeling more triggered by it and jarred by just the hearing other peoples stories.

The prolonged and intense media attention on sexual assault has not only triggered memories for many survivors, but its also making people feel more safe about coming forward, Parrington said.

Multiple allegations against the former CBC host have drawn international attention and put victims of sexual assault in the spotlight.

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And instead of police, women are also turning to social media to share their stories.

The hashtag #BeenRapedNeverReported now curates intimate details about some of the most difficult times in womens lives stories of isolation, shame, degradation and depression.

On Oct. 31, Winnipegger Holly Bausman, joined the movement, tweeting, Date rape He wanted my virginity. I said no. Repeatedly. He took it anyway. #BeenRapedNeverReported.

I felt worthless,I blamed myself

Bausman was sexually assaulted as a child, and when she was 16, she was raped in rural Manitoba.

That was the one that messed me up the most out of all of them. That was something I was hanging onto -- I wanted to keep. I wanted to give that to someone I actually cared about. At 16 I wasnt ready, she said. I felt worthless. I blamed myself, like How did you let yourself get into that position?

Bausman became deeply depressed, blamed herself and didnt feel comfortable going to police. She was scared.

I did terrible things after it happened because I didnt care about myself, she said. I really hated myself after. I really hated how I felt about losing that.

She eventually took medication for her depression and saw a counsellor. Now, she works in radio, is in a relationship and works with horses a therapy that works for her, she said.

More than 15 years after being attacked, Bausman said she finally felt ready to talk about it.

[I was] sick of not talking about it. Seeing all the tweets come out was very inspirational. It was very powerful seeing as many women and men who were standing up saying #BeenRapedNeverReported and it was like, Hey. Thats me, too, she said.

Immediately, she was scared.

I actually sent out another tweet right after, and it says, Whats my boss going to think? This is the scariest thing Ive ever done, she said.

Soon though, support came pouring in from dozens of tweets and personal emails to countless voicemails and phone calls from friends and strangers.

I had so many people tell me that it was a strong thing to do. I had so many people tell me that it was the right thing to do, and that it took courage and determination and they were proud of me for doing it, said Bausman.

Still, she said, she has no plans to go to the police to pursue charges and completely understands why people dont.

Det.-Sgt. Natalie Aitken also understands why women choose not to go to police.

We do realize its very intrusive, said Aitken. The details that we need to ask them, to proceed with that investigation, to gain the evidence were asking them some very pointed, very personal questions, Aitken said, adding victims often have to relive their attacks repeatedly for police questioning and later on in court, whichcan be incrediblydifficult.

No increase in sexual assault reports, police say

The Winnipeg Police Service hasnt seen an uptick in women reporting sexual assaults since scandal broke in late October but other police forces have, including one in Hamilton, Ont., and in Edmonton, calls to sexual assault crisis centre rose after the high profile stories broke.

I think people are seeing what the police have known for quite some time, and potentially prosecutors or people who work in the field that this is something that happens- Det.-Sgt. Natalie Aitken of the Winnipeg Police Service

Aitken said Winnipeg police and other jurisdictions across North America are closely looking at how they can make it easier to support women through the process.

We realize sexual assault its so invasive on that person and it can be so traumatic for them, she said. We have dedicated officers, we have specialized officers who work in that unit and thats all they do. Theyre trained in retrieving the information that they need, making that victim feel comfortable.

That means working closely with nurses and sexual assault counsellors to form a team of people who can step in and help a victim.

We rely heavily on some very trained nurses and volunteers who have training specifically in the traumatic experiences [victims]might be going through, said Aitken. We hope that helps. We know obviously all that were doing, thats not enough for people to want to come forward.

Women have options when reporting, detective says

Aitken said victims need to know they have options when reporting to police.

Victims dont always have to pursue charges, (except in cases where a child is involved or the incident involves an intimate partner) or file formal reports.

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They can speak to officers and determine whats best for them first, Aitken said.

At the end of the day, Aitken said, victims have to do whats right for them. She thinks the social media movement is positive.

I think its a positive thing, she said. I think people are seeing what the police have known for quite some time, and potentially prosecutors or people who work in the field that this is something that happens. People tend not to report that for whatever reason.

Aitken said people arent just connecting with other survivors, but also others who can help them.

I think the movement thats happening right now -- theyre getting the support from not only other victims from prosecutors, from officers, from different agencies, she said.

Whats at stake when you report online

But revealing intimate details about an extremely traumatic experience in a public forum has its risks.

Aitken cautions about revealing details about perpetrators. She said its important to remember people do have a right to defend themselves and social media is not a substitute for a court of law.

Parrington said victims also need to be prepared for the good and the bad.

People are getting some messaging that its OK to tell [their stories], that theyre not to blame, she said. But I think on the other hand weve had a number of circumstances where the social media hasnt been helpful.

She said survivors need to ask themselves what theyre hoping to have happen if they open up, and be prepared for positive and negative feedback. Victim blaming, she said, has been a major problem on social media previously.

Susie Erjavec-Parker runs her own PR firm in Winnipeg, Sparker Strategy Group, and specializes in social media consulting. She said clients have already asked her about disclosing a sexual assault online.

Her advice? Know what the risks are and figure out what youre comfortable sharing.

What you do put on the web does live forever in terms of perpetuity, she said. Do you want that story to follow you into your next job? Into your next interview? Into your next career choice? Thats totally up to you. Some people are perfectly fine with owning that and having that be a part of their narrative, said Erjavec-Parker.

Moving past isolation and shame

Despite the risks, Erjavec-Parker believes the movement has been incredibly important for survivors.

What I think is important is that the people who have shared publicly have really had an outpouring of support and encouragement, and if you look at someone that youve been following online or admire online and going, If she can tell her story and share it then maybe I can use my voice and share my story as well and it wont be as scary as I thought it would be', she said.

Its not your fault. Quit blaming yourself. Talk to someone. Get it out and forgive yourself- Holly Bausman

For Bausman, thats what it was all about making women who feel isolated and ashamed by what someone did to them feel more comfortable talking about it and healing.

Im very happy I shared it. Its been overwhelming at times, she said. I never did it to be in the lime light, I dont really enjoy that, but at the same time I want people to know it can happen to you and you can overcome it.

Bausman hopes her admission will help, in a small way, in making more women feel comfortable talking about what has happened to them.

I want every girl whos ever gone through it to know that: You can overcome it and there is help out there, she said. Its not your fault. Quit blaming yourself. Talk to someone. Get it out and forgive yourself.

Klinic'sSexual Assault Crisis Line is open 24 hours a day and can be reached at(204)786-8631 or toll-free in Manitoba at1-888-292-7565.