Winnipeg transgender student wonders where he'll sleep on school trip

Winnipeg studentIsaacCasselswas anxious for months waiting to hear from his school about where he would sleep on an upcoming school trip.

His class will travel to Ottawa and stay in a hotel next month.

"It feels like they are being condescending, like they don't really believe me or something, like 'oh you're not a 'real boy,'"said theGrade8student.

Casselsistransgender. The 14-year-old came out and changed his gender in October.

TheCasselsfamily saidafter the school suggesteda few unsatisfactory rooming arrangements, they decided to go public toCBC News with their concerns.

"It makes me feel kind of isolated and that my principaldoesn'twant any issues," saidCassels."Idon'tmean that in a negative way,it just feels like sheisn'tsuper concerned about me."

LaurelCasselssaid the day after CBC News contacted the school divisionabout the issue,she got a phone call from the school sayingIsaac will beallowed to room with his male friends.

Weeks passed before school decided

Casselssaysthey'd been waiting for weeks for school officials to make up their minds.

At first, the school suggested her son room with the girls. After she said no, the suggestion was for him to room alone.

"When 50 kids get to have a big [pajama]party, and he has to be by himself nearby, that seems totally unfair," she said.

TheCasselssaid the only option that worked for them was forIsaacto room with the other boys in his class.

That's when the school told her they would consider it, but would have to tell the classmate's parents.

"It's none of my principal's business to be telling other people because it's my personal information and they don't have any right to know," saidIsaac.

Laurel said she is concernedIsaaccould lose friends if administrators tell parents.

"Isaac'srelationships with his friends are really importantespecially right now, he needs that support from kids who are accepting of him."

In the end, the school sided with the Cassels and decided against informing other parents about Isaac's gender.

The family said it is happy with the outcome.Isaacsaid it was important for him to speak out for the sake of othertransgenderstudents.

"I hope other kids who are going on school trips in the future, who aretransgender, won't have to room with the wrong gender," said the teenager.

Accommodating students

The Winnipeg School Division (WSD) says it cannot comment on this case because of privacy issues.

"As far as LGBTQ accommodation goes, it's an evolving issue, we've been looking at it on an ongoing basis," said Radean Carter, public relations officer forthe WSD.

Carter said the division was one of the first in Canada to insist students are calledby his or her preferred pronoun andwear whichever gender of clothing he or she identifies with.

She said schools allow the student to use the bathroom they choose and will also provide a gender neutral bathroom.

"We've really made a lot of inroads, but things take time," said Carter.

The WSD has a diversity and equity educationpolicy which includes gender identity.

Struggle for schools

Mike Tutthill, executive director of the Rainbow Resource Centre, says schools struggle when it comes to dealing with transgender students.He says it's understandable because the issues are sensitive.

"Often times they are consulting us in terms of what should be done," said Tutthill, who add this is thenew reality for schools and school divisions.

"When we talk to trans kids, especially young kids, they'll be like,'yup, I'm a girl with a penis,' or 'I'm a boy with a vagina' and that's just the way that it is," said Tutthill. "For them it doesn't become this cultural putting-people-in-boxesas we tend to do as adults."

He said gender identity does not determinesexual orientation: "gender identity is how we identify ourselves as being male, female or neither."

Tutthill said at Rainbow Resource Centre, anyone who identifies as a manis welcome in men's group, and anyone who identifies as a woman is welcome in women's group. He said schools should follow suit.

Tutthill said the school shouldn't have suggested Cassels room alone.

"This isn't something that Isaac asked for. This isn't something that's being done for his safety," said Tutthill. "It's being done for the perceived safety of others."

Tutthill said he is happy the school decided to allow Cassels to room with his friends. He is also in contact with the division to help work on similar issues that may come up in the future.

Tutthill says his best advice to schools and divisions is to maintain the transgender students' privacy.

He says it's not up to the school to tell other parents about a student's gender change.

"We don't believe that anyone should be outed. Outing is something you do on your own at your own time."

Tutthill says it's only up to the child to reveal his or her gender identity and when.