McGill's death caf 'a safe space' to talk about life and death

Death can be hard to talk about, and for some people it's a topic they don't always feel comfortable bringing up withothers.

But "death cafs" are trying to change that.

At a death caf,people who are often strangerscome together to eat food, drink tea and talk about death, loss, mortality and even life.

The goal is to let people talk openlywithout the stigma or taboo.

"It's just a safe space for people to share those thoughts that are otherwise taboo in societyand therefore, by discussing them, hopefully we make the most of our finite lives," said Amanda Brown, the organizer and co-facilitatorof theMcGillDeathCaf.

McGill has been hosting the monthly event sinceOctober, and its popularity is catching on.

At February'sevent, about40 people were packed into a small, brightly lit room on McGill's campus. Most of them were attending for the first time.

Even though death was the topic of the evening, the atmosphere was upbeat and cheerful. People were mingling with one another, chatting and enjoying snacks before the event started.

Providing an outlet

Brown says death cafes, which first began popping up around the worldin 2011,provide an outlet to talk about almost anything.

"We always talk about how amazing it is that it's so different every time. They range from people's personal stories of grief, and dealing with complicated grief with people they maybe didn't have a entirely pleasant relationship with,to immortality and organic burials. Just absolutely everything under the sun," she said.

Brown first heard about death cafes after struggling with an illness for a few years.She was diagnosed at age 16 with spinal neuralgia,apainful compression of the spinal nerves.

Brown's mindsetchanged when sheattended a death cafinNova Scotia in 2011.

"I was kind of forced to face the possibility of my own mortality in a way that a lot of teenagers don't really have to," she said.

"Being able to just talk about all these things that made other people uncomfortable was just such a meaningful experience to me."

Brown said at first itwas hardto talk about her experience, but the death cafprovidedan outlet to talk about her experience.

Deathcafsusually are cheerful.- SusanBarskyReid, co-creator of world's first death caf

After winning the Mary H. Brown endowment fund from McGill, Brown decided to start a death cafon campus. She works with her co-organizer Daniel Almeida andKit Racette, whoruns the sessions.

Brown said they've had a great response, and often see new people attending each event.

She plans on holding more death cafs throughout the year.

Movement born in England

The first death caf was held in September 2011in East London, England. It was created and run by Jon Underwood and his mother,Susan BarskyReid.

Tragedy struck in June 2017, whenUnderwood died suddenly fromacute promyelocytic leukemia, a type of blood cell cancer.

BarskyReid has not been able to run a death cafsince her son's deathbecause she finds it too emotional, but she told CBC she's happy to hear that there arecafs popping up as far away as Montreal.

"Deathcafsusually are cheerful even though people can be sad. There's something really life affirming about talking about the fact that you're going to die," she said.

The movement continues to grow.BarskyReid saidthousands of death cafs have been offered around the world, including in Europe, the Middle East and Asia.

In Canada, there have been more than 700 death cafs.