Montreal trans youth shares coming-out story to show others they are not alone

Going back to school in September is often a stressful experience for any young person, but for LGBTQ students considering coming out to their classmates, there can be a feeling of extra pressure.

Ellis Stutman came out as transgender to his family in Grade 6. It's something hefelt since he was as young as seven years old, but had trouble finding the words to describe it.

"Every time someone said my past name or my past pronouns it just didn't feel right," said Ellis.

The 12-year-old student atSt-George's SchoolinWestmounttoldCBCDaybreakthat he hopes being open about his story will inspire others.

For Ellis's mother, Amy Samsonovitch, understanding Ellis's gender took some time, but she said it was something she approached with open arms.

It was while shopping at Fairview Pointe-Claire mall with Ellis that things started to become clear.

A salesperson referred to Ellis as her son, and, thinking Ellis would be upset, she turned to see him smiling.

The next day, at a visit to the doctor, Ellis told his mother "I want to be a boy."

"We've been working with Ellis for many years and helping to support him through his anxieties," said Samsonovitch.

She said it's important for parents to be able to see beyond their own perception of the world as they adjust to their child's realization that their gender assigned at birth does not fit.

It's that open approach, she said, that's key to ensuring your child feels comfortable coming to you with any issue they may be experiencing.

"As long as we keep those doors open, then they're going to want to come to you," said Samsonovitch.

Support from family, friends can make all the difference

Ellis said he was surprised by the support he received from his friends and family.

Samsonovitch's own coming out, as the parent of a transgender child with all the learning that follows, had its own transition period.

"It went from shock, to mourning, to complete and utter acceptance," said Samsonovitch. As she welcomed her new son, she was also mourning the loss of her daughter.

It's something that Ellis empathized with after coming out to his mother, but added, "I'm the same person, just happier."

Now in Grade 7, Ellis says things are going well at school. He has the support of his friends and family, and says that he hasnot experienced any bullying since he transferred to St-George's.

With files from CBCDaybreak.