Quarantine diaries: Pregnant and dealing with tears of all kinds

CBC Montreal wants to know how you are living these days. What are you doing differently? Have you learned, realized or observed anything?

Here is the next instalment of our series, Quarantine diaries: Life in the time of COVID-19, written by Connie Devouges, a mother and home daycare provider from Chteauguay, Que.

I am a mom to three boys ages four, six and 10 and currently expecting baby number four, another boy due May 8. My spouse is considered an essential worker. I am grateful that he is still working, and for each passing day that he comes home in good health.

But I'm getting closer to my due date, which quickly went from a day that seemed so far away to one that's coming at a frightening speed. I've received sweet packages to celebrate the arrival of our little bug, and with those thoughtful packages came uncontrollable tears.

Tears of happiness, because of the reminder that better times are coming. Tears of worry, that as things swiftly change, I could become a mom labouring to deliver a sweet baby boy without my partner by my side. Tears over the lack of control we have over this whole situation, and tears as I break down in front of my boys, whom I am trying so hard to stay strong for.

On better days, I watch my belly grow and rhythmically bump to my little boy's hiccups. I wash his clothes, fold his blankets and pack my hospital bag as we approach the date that I have anxiously awaited for the last nine months. I struggle with the mental load this virus has brought into my life. I remind myself to take it one day at a time.

-Connie Devouges