Missing family a 'shadow that hangs over every day'

Two years after the federal government met its target to resettle 25,000 Syrian refugees in Canada, hundreds of newcomers are putting down roots in New Brunswick: getting married, welcoming newborns, getting jobs and going to university.

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But with each milestone comes a renewed sense of grief for parents, siblings and loved ones left behind.

Two ambitious young Syrians in Saint John Muhammed Ubeyd and Reham Abazid are on separate missions to be reunited with family members still living in the Middle East.

But the process which involves partnering with sponsorship agreement holders, navigating federal government bureaucracy and raisingtens of thousands of dollars is "not cheap, it's not quick, and it's not easy," said sponsorship committee volunteer Kate Wallace.

"For so many newcomers, bringing their family here is their dream," Wallace said. "But they can't do it alone."

"They can't ever really move forward here while their family is still in limbo living as refugees.

"It's a shadow that hangs over every day."

'We will do anything'

Last September, Muhammed Ubeyd, 21,made headlines when he hosted a Syrian dinner at Taco Picato raise money forhis sister, Duaaa, 28, to come to Canada.

While her brothers have been in Saint John, working and attending school, Duaaa has lived in Lebanon in a two-room apartment with 13 other people.

In a handful of years, Duaaa was widowed and shot at as she moved constantly from one war-torn Syrian city to another.

Ubeyd's dinner fundraiser was a smash hit: it raised $8,000, half of which he sent to his sister to finance her escape from al-Bab City to Beirut. But it wasn't enough money to bring her to Canada.

Ubyedtries to call his sister every day, but it's not always possible.

"She just wants to come," he said. "We sent to the government her information, and the government in Ottawa agrees to get her from Lebanon to here. But now she is waiting for the embassy in Beirut to do interview with her. When I talk to her, she says to me, 'Nothing yet, they didn't text me yet.'"

Ubeyd is hosting a second fundraiser on Sunday, April 22, at Taco Pica to raise part of the $7,000 in remaining settlement costs.

"We will do anything, that is what I am saying. Because we miss her, we want her with us. A girl there is not safe.

"It's still dangerous, and we hope people will help us."

'Feeling of incompleteness'

Since arriving in Saint John in January 2016, Reham Abazid has spent countless hours giving back to the community: cooking dinners for Saint Johners who arehomeless and working as an interpreter while raising two young children. Last fall, she was awarded the 2017 YMCA Peace Medallion.

Reham recently discovered she is pregnant with her third child happy news for her and her husband, Mohammad.

But for Abazid, being pregnant is also "the hardest thing." Her parents and two brothers are still refugees living in Jordan. Her husband's parents are in the same situation.

"When I was pregnant before, my mom was with me step by step, and now I feel like I am alone. It's a sad feeling."

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One might think the process would be easier for someone like Reham, Wallace said. But that hasn't necessarily been the case.

"A lot of people know her, and she's kind of a poster child for integration. And yet there's so much lossand pain, and a feeling of incompleteness to have your family so far away, [and] your countrystill war-torn."

Cost is obstacle

A big part of the problem, as Ubeyd has realized, is money.

Settlement costs can range from $13,500 for a single person, to $28,200 for a family of four. It's a huge financial target for newcomers who are just getting settled themselves.

They can't ever really move forward here while their family is still in limbo living as refugees. It's a shadow that hangs over every day.- Kate Wallace, sponsorship committee volunteer

On top of that, there's the bureaucracy which Wallace saidcan be"fairly overwhelming, even for us who live here, who are native English speakers and who are fairly intelligent people."

Sponsoring a family member's immigration means working with a sponsorship agreement holder, as well as a community sponsor. It involves submitting documents, photos, a financial profile, proof of funds held in trust, and other materials to demonstrate the support the newcomerwill have after arriving in Canada.

The sponsorship process is complicated, Abazid said.

"We need a high level of English to understand, and we are still learning here. In Syria we can go to someone we know who has experience. Here, we can't. We have to look online."

Community can help

After the paperwork is assembled and sent to Ottawa, it'sa waiting game, Wallace said.

After the application is received, the wait ranges from aminimum of 18 months to as long as two years from sending the information off, to when sponsored family members actually arrive.

Ubeyed knowsit's a long process. But he's focusing on fundraising. That's the part he can control.

He hopes Sunday's fundraiser "will be great like first time, a lot of people will come."

Without support from the community, he could be waiting a long time but Ubeyd, Abazid, and other Syrians hoping to be reunited with their families aren't giving up hope.

"For a lot of people," Wallace said, "bringing their family here would give them, if not closure, a great sense of relief from what the war has taken from them."