DaycareDebt: Searching for childcare keeps me awake at night

The author is a St. John's parent

Theres a knot in my stomach that will likely lead to an ulcer. I lieawake many nights and its not just because I have a baby under a year old. Im worried I wont find childcare. Finding childcare is highly competitive and the spaces for infants are few and far between.

Im writing this anonymously because Im concerned childcare providers wont accept my child because Im speaking out about the difficulty finding care. In this environment, no one can afford to be on the mommy blacklist.

Our story begins when our baby was two months old. We started looking for childcare then and people laughed at us. They told me I should have started before our baby was born. They were right. Since our babys arrival, looking for childcare has been nothing short of a full-time job.

Weve interviewed at least two dozen registered and non-registered childcare providers. There are many qualified people out there. There just isnt enough of them. Weve run into timing issues. Spaces arent available when I have to go back to work. Then there is location. I dont mind driving for quality care but in some cases, I would have to spend two hours commuting to get the baby toand from childcare.

How do I find childcare providers? I spend an hour each morning and evening searching online. I also check local regulatory sites and post wanted ads on my personal Facebook page. I think my friends are starting to feel sorry for me. From the moms whove already found childcare, I get a Oh, thats too bad. It is tough out there. They really are sincere, but it makes me feel like Im failing motherhood or something.

For every post there are several moms checking it out. Its like being a part of a Boxing Day shopping stampede. Im sure Ive been trampled a few times my mouth wide open, bewildered at what the hell just happened. When the space is gone, it really is like a smack on the cheek. The lesson: You have to move quickly and interview quickly otherwise you could miss out on a good spot. It is a race. A race for quality and sanity.

We would find suitable care providers. Interviews set up. Hubby, and I, with baby in tow, would meet the would-be babysitter. Other care providers would cancel interviews due to illness or emergency. I totally understand that. But heres where my blood boils. Theyd commit to rescheduling. Wed follow up but there would be silence. For a mom with a growing daycare ulcer, its deafening, hair-pulling silence. On more than one occasion, the childcare providers would continue to post their availability to care for children, but not respond to our follow up requests. Not long ago I reposted our need for childcare and the same provider who blew me off responded again. Really?

Waitlists are always fun. Its the clock you cant really see but you know youre on a time-limit and at the end of it youll get your coveted prize. Getting a daycare spot is really like winning the lottery, or so Im told. Ask anyone whose had their number called. Im sure they giggled with delight. Were on waitlists all over the city. Toddler spaces seem to be in abundance. Were high on the waitlists for toddler spaces. So, were set. A lot of good that does me now!

Our search has extended to nannies too. Nannies cost a small fortune. Its an option we are essentially forced to consider given the lack of available spaces. Nannies write to express interest, but dont respond to follow up. Again, not the best approach when youre looking for a client and the relationship is supposed to be based on trust and reliability.

Its a sorry state of affairs. I dont understand why more people arent protesting, and hammering our elected officials for the lack of effort to support families. Dont get me started on how this also impacts women advancing in the workforce! Federal and provincial governments of all political stripes have done little to improve daycare access despite repeated promises to do so.

If there was AN ACTUAL PLAN for day care, parents, make that VOTERS, would have more confidence in the childcare system and those making the decisions. The plan doesnt have to be perfect. In fact, it never will be perfect. For now, each parent looking for childcare lives with the stress and hope of finding childcare.