LGBTQ group hosting safe holiday gathering for St. John's community

The holidays aremeant to be a time to gather withfamily. Butit's a complicated time for many in the LGBTQcommunity,with somefeeling unsafe being themselves atfamily gatherings, and othersnot welcome by their familyat all.

An annual eventhosted by Pflag St. John's is offeringmembers of the LGBTQ community a place where they can feel welcome during the holiday season.

Organizer Charlie Murphy said the get-together offers a safe spaceto gather for a holiday experience, and is an extension of the work Pflag does every month.

Speaking withThe St. John's Morning Show, Murphy said Pflag used to stand for Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbiansbut "doesn't really stand for that anymore." Murphy said Pflag is now a more all-encompassing term, referring tothe LGBTQ communitycoming together for peer support.

Murphy said there are monthly Pflag meetings. "It's now basically like a gathering place for when youneed that peer support and you just come for two hours to talk."

Those two hours can be focused on anything from "needing to be around like minded individuals or having to talk [about] some pretty heavy topics that might be affecting you and you're just needing someone to talk to or someadvice from the community."

ButPflag'sholiday event is different from the monthly meetings, as it provides refuge from a time of year that can be difficult for some members of the LGBTQ community.

"When we think about holidays,it's very family focused, which is great if you're supported by your family or you have a strong connection with your family," said Murphy.

"But there are times where you might not be supported by your family."

Murphy said that lack of support can come in many different forms. There might be a particular family member who doesn't respect a person's pronouns, name or partner. It's a situation he says can makeeven the act of going home a traumatizing experience.

"Some people just aren't welcomed at home, and that's really hard," said Murphy."Sometimes the whole family is not supportive. And so when we dothis annual event, it's more like a 'chosen family' holiday event where everyone is accepted and everyone is welcome."

Pflag has been having an annual holiday event for years at St. John'scity hall, but due to pandemic precautions, this year's event will be held at the St. John's Farmers' Market building.

Food and drinks from Rocket Bakery will be served, theSpectrum Choir willperformand there will begames andprizes.

Pflag will also be collecting non-perishable food items for the AIDS Committee of Newfoundland and Labrador and the First LightCentre in St. John's.

A more welcoming holiday

Murphy also offered some tips on how people can create a more supportive environment for their LGBTQ family members.

He said people should use their family members' proper pronouns and nameswhen signing cards or gift tags, as it helps affirm their identity.

When it comes to gifts, Murphy recommendedbuying "gender-affirming" items.

"If someone is identifying as male, don't buy them a dress, even though you might see them asyour daughter."

Murphy also suggested buying toys that aren't gender-specific.

"If a little boy is asking [for a] Barbie doll, don't make a big deal about it.Let them have it.

"It'ssupposed to be a time where you are enjoying each other's company andmagic is supposedly happening and everyone's supposed to be really cheerful. So [make] sure that it's special for them."

Pflag's annual LGBTQholiday event will be at the St. John's Farmers' Marketon Friday from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.

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