Stage managers always have it together. Here's how you can, too

Stage management is one of those crucial behind-the-scenes professions. People who attend a performance may never realize that the stage manager was hard at work the whole time, but the show just couldn't go on without an expert in that key role.

A stage manager keeps a show running smoothlyand makes sure that all the props and actors are where they should be. They keep the director well-informed, and they handle any issues that crop up during the performance.

I'd like to be able to offer you a stage manager for your life but that would be tricky. So I'm doing the next best thing.

I talked toJaimie Tait, who's been aprofessional stage manager for the past 13 years, about what skills she uses and how they could make your work life or home life a lot smoother.

1. Prepare as much as possible including an 'emergency kit'

Like all stage managers, Tait starts a new project by communicating with theproduction team and gettingher work materials ready.

She makesrehearsal schedules, contact sheets and breakdowns of each scene in the show. She makes blocking pages of the set drawing so she can take notes. She tapes out the ground plan of the set onto the floor of the rehearsal room.

She knows she'lladd moreas rehearsals go on, but she likes to do what she can right away.

Laying that foundation allows her to be effective and efficient in her work, and it gives her freedom to deal with other situations as they arise.

"You have to be able to problem solve on the fly, as a stage manager," she said.

"You have to think far ahead about what the needs are going to be you are in the moment but you are anticipating what the needs are going to be."

Since many of the same minor issues crop up in show after show, Tait keeps an emergency kit on hand that contains things like Band-Aids, tapeand a sewing kit.

How can you use this?

You may not need to keep a script on hand but it could be useful for you to have a notebook or a document on your phonewhere you keep running notes for upcoming events and activities.

Since your calendar is a kind of script for your life, you could also set aside time to review your calendar regularly so you know whatlies ahead. It might also be helpful to have an idea of what each "scene" in your life usually requires and so you can get the "props" ready in advance.

A scene might be a specific situation or it might be a specific day.

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For example, if you can never find your keys, you might put a hook by your front door and make a practice of hanging your keys on it when you come home. That way, your car-driving prop is always ready for your "leaving the house" scene.

Or, if your Wednesdays usually mean you are too busy to get lunch, you could make sure to keep cereal bars or cheese and crackers on your grocery list so you always have a snack in your bag for that midweek hustle.

If being too busy for lunch is something that happens often but not on a specific day, you could include those sorts of snacks in your emergency kit. That kit could also include an extra charger for your phone, a pair of mittens, a book, some paper and a pen any of the things you regularly find yourself without.

That kit doesn't just have to containtangible items. If you find you're oftenstuck on certain problems, you could make flow charts or plans or lists to remind yourself how to get unstuck. If you keep all of that sort of information in the same place, you can consult it when you have that type of emergency.

2. Determine what expectations to meet

Tait says that every show is essentially like the first day at a new job and shehas to use her well-developed communication skills to determine what the director expects from her.

"Some directors want me to contribute creative ideas, others want me to be the organizational person only," Tait said. "It's important to be clear about my role on the team. Every show is different, and every team is different."

Once the director's expectations have been identified, it's a lot easier for Tait to meet them.

How can you use this?

While it might be more challengingto get people to state their expectations for roles that are less formalized than those in a stage production, it's still worthwhile to ask.

A lot of my coaching clients are dealing with the stress that's created when expectations aren't met. That can happen when the client has not clearly stated their own expectations or when someone they're working with has not stated theirs. That leads to a lot of guesswork and unnecessary frustration, and can make a project drag on far longer than it should.

There are a lot of benefits toasking someone questions like: "What do you need from me in this situation?""Will I be in charge of all aspects of the project?""Who makes the decisions on Part A?"

Questions like that can be just as useful in personal relationships as they are in work relationships. Of course, you will want to choose your phrasing carefully. You don't want your partner to think you are asking them to report to you! (That will end badly, I think.)

3.Practice instant forgiveness

Stage managers have to do a lot of task-switching and manage a ton of details during a performance. Mistakes are going to be made and they need to be corrected as quickly as possible.

Tait recommends learning to let go of mistakes andto forgive instantly, so errors don't build up.

"If for some reason I'm late for a cue or make a mistake, I try to give myself instant forgiveness," Tait said.

"I can carry on the show without beating myself up, or focusing on the mistake. Because then more mistakes will follow, or I'll be so focused that I messed up I won't be with the show anymore, I will be in my head."

Letting go of mistakes during the show allows Tait to move oninstead of letting her thoughts derail her work. She may make adjustments or corrections later, but she doesn't throw off a whole show because one thing went wrong.

How can you use this?

Learning to let go of mistakes is definitely a good reason to embrace your inner stage manager.

Too often when one thing goes wrong in our day maybein apresentationor in a conversation we spend so much time focused on themistake that we lose track of all the things that went well. That focus can put a damper on our whole day or worse, on our whole attitude.

Using instant forgiveness could helpus keep that single mistake in its proper perspective. Most mistakes are fairly minor. It's pretty rare that a single error ruins everything.

It's okay to note a mistake so we can make adjustments later butin any given moment, Tait's approach could make a huge positive difference in how you feel about your day. That moment of self-compassion and kindness can help you have more ease.

Stage manage your life

Think of how much easier it would be if the items and information you needed were close at hand, if you knew what people expected of you, and if you could let it go when things went wrong.

The stage-manager approach may not come as easily to you as it does to Tait she's got far more practice! but it's still worth trying.

In the worst-case scenario, you will be a little more organized and a little kinder to yourself.

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