'She was more than just a body. She was a person': Mother raising money for stillborn beds

When Kelsey Vincent went to a prenatal scan in the26th week of her first pregnancy, she never expected to come home without a baby.

The Triton woman worried because she hadn't felt her daughter move in more than a day, so she went to Grand Falls-Windsor to make sure things were OK.

They weren't.

"It was shock more than anything because it's not something you anticipate hearing," she said."Once you get past your 12-week mark, you feel like you're safe, that this will never happen to me. I'll never be that mom. Then, hearing the words, 'I'm sorry, her heart has stopped.'It brings you back and you get shocked. That could never be my baby. That could never be me. But it can."

Her baby, Sage, was stillborn.

"Even though she was a stillborn, there was still life there. I felt her kick. I felt her move. I saw her heartbeat. On my 20-week ultrasound, I watched her suck her thumb," she said. "She was more than just a body. She was a person. Seeing her and putting a face to what I was feeling for so many weeksreally helped put it all together. Everything seemed so much more real."

In her sadness, Vincent found purpose. She wanted to do something to help other families who experienced the same loss.

"After my daughter was born, I actually was rushed into emergency surgery to stop bleeding," she explained. "So I didn't get as much time as my family did with her. I ended up feeling like I had to give her up before I was ready to."

That feeling led her to research ways she might have hadmore time with her baby. That's how she discovered Cuddle Cots and began raising money for one in the Grand Falls-Windsor hospital.

"A Cuddle Cot is a cooling mattress that stops the baby's body from deteriorating. It allows families days even a week or longer giving them precious time. Something that I wish I had more of with her. Just to take pictures, to touch them. Just making memories, because at the end of the day, all you have left is memories."

She's started a GoFundMeaccount to help her raise the $5,000 to cover the cost of the cot.

Steve Huggins, the co-inventor of the device, says there are now more than 2,000 of the special beds in use around the world, although it wasn't always easy to introduce them to the public.

"We came against all sorts of objections," he said. "They said people won't want this. Families won't want to spend time with [their]baby. But they do. And so we've overcome those objections and it is now standard operating procedure in the U.K. to use the Cuddle Cot."

Vincent says she would have loved to have access to something like that.

"I really hope no one else will ever have to go through this," she said. "But I hope if they do, this Cuddle Cot will give them something that I never had, and that was time. That's something any mother who has to go through this would cherish. The time I spent with her meant more to me than anything in the world."

Huggins is proud his invention has inspired the drive in Vincent to reach out to other families, despite her own loss.

"I think what she has gone through must have been incredibly difficult, but the fact that she now wants to help other families avoid the pain, or some of the pain that she went through, and to give them the gift of time, I think that is an absolutely fantastic effort," he said.

Central Health, which will benefit from Vincent's efforts, agrees.

"We are so grateful for people like Kelsey, who in the midst of her own grief, cares enough about others who may go through a similar experience in the future, to do something to help," said South and Central Health Foundation executive director Wendy Houlihan.

"Kelsey's fundraiser will have a significant impact on parents and families for many years to come."

Vincent saidher doctors told her 70 to 80 families every year experience the same type of loss she did. She finds comfort in knowing those families could benefit from her campaign.

Where to get help:

• Eastern Health resources for perinatal bereavement
• Newfoundland and Labrador Mental Health Crisis Line: 1-888-737-4668
• CHANNAL Peer Support Warm Line: 1-855-753-2560
• Canada Suicide Prevention Service:1-833-456-4566 (phone) | 45645 (text) |http://www.crisisservicescanada.ca(chat)

• In Quebec (French):Association qubcoise de prvention du suicide: 1-866-APPELLE (1-866-277-3553)

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