Talk to your kids about sex offenders: Yellowknife mom

On Tuesday this week the Catholic School Board in Yellowknife sent school children home with a letter to parents, warning that a sex offender had recently been released from a halfway house in Edmonton and returned to the city.

Ruth Gillingham, a mother of five, immediately took notice when her kids burst in the door talking about it.

• AUDIO: The Trailbreakers Loren McGinnis speaks with Ruth Gillingham

They really entered into conversation which was very unusual, because usually when they come home you have to say, how was school, what was going on

But Gillingham also noticed a note of fear and uncertainty in the discussion.

A Captain with the Salvation Army and a former prison chaplain, Gillingham asked herself whether the notice was useful. The school board didnt name the offender, or say what he had done in the past.

Two days after the Catholic School board warning,RCMP issued press release warning the public aboutTravis Casaway, who was 15 when he grabbed two girls, aged 11 and 12, off the Frame Lake Trail and sexually assaulted them in separate incidents just nine days apart.

Gillingham was pleased to have her children initiate a conversation about the issue, but she says that should be happening anyway.

We should have the conversation even outside of being notified that theres a sex offender because the reality is there are people who will cause harm to children already within our community, she says. They just havent been identified or havent been charged.

Opinion is mixed on whether naming sex offenders whove returned from the prison system is a good idea, even among the experts.

Gillingham says the important thing is to use that information to create a positive outcome.

For example, she once worked with a sex offender who returned to her church in a southern community. She says they had a direct conversation about where he could or could not be in the church, and what sort of activities he could participate in. The goal was to set boundaries so everyone was comfortable.

She says thats much more effective than fear and harassment.

I would hope that we would learn to proactively engage rather than ostracizing, marginalizing or creating a situation so that individual cannot become a productive member in the community.

Gillingham says parents should know where their kids are and talk to them about whats safe and not safe. For example, when they go into public washrooms, go to the corner store, or interact with people they dont know.

She says children should also know that when theyre feeling uncomfortable, thats a good time to talk to their parents.