Ashley MacLean tells court of hatred, depression after shooting left her paralyzed

Ashley MacLean wept as she read from a victim impact statement during court proceedings against the three teensinvolved in the shooting and home invasion that left her paralyzed from the chest down. MacLean, 19, was shot at a home in Cole Harbour onNov.30, 2014when four young men entered looking for money. Two young men were also shot.

Three 17-year-olds were chargedalong with Merkel Jason Downey, who represented Nova Scotia as a boxer in the 2011 Canada Games.

The three youths pleaded guilty to aggravated assault, breaking and entering, robbery and wearing a mask to commit a crime. They sat in court while MacLean read aloud from the four-page statement.

"On November 30," she told the court, "I was handed a life sentence and didn't do anything to deserve it."

MacLean went on to describe the moments after she was shot, saying she thought she was going to die. As she read, MacLean's mother wiped the tears from her eyes.

"When the pain started to kick in, it was unbearable. It felt like my body was on fire and it only got worse," MacLean said.

She went on to describe her life as a quadriplegic. She told the court she lost her independence, is confined to a wheelchairand needs help to wash and eat. MacLean said she is consumed with anger and hatred, feels ugly, and hates herself.

She detailed the longdays she spent alone in the hospital, and how she battled depression and anxiety. MacLean told the court about the relationships she haslost andhow she'll likely never be able to have childrenor become a nurse as she had dreamed.

"A lot of times now I wish I didn't even survive," she said. "I'm always in pain or uncomfortable."

MacLean said she feels imprisoned in her own body and is scared of the future.

"I feel like I'm in a nightmare, I just want to wake up," she said.

When MacLean finished, the three defendants and their families stood and apologized to her. They told her they wished they could take back what they did.

The mother of one of the defendants told MacLean, through tears, "You are courageous and resilient. Don't let anyone take that from you."

Jamie Van Wart, Crown prosecutor for the case, described the proceedings as "very emotional."

"She was very brave in coming to court," Van Wart said.

The youths will be sentenced separately on Nov.23, Nov.30and Dec.7.