Why this N.S. podcaster and her partner record themselves having sex

It's a relationship story that's likelyfamiliar to many couples: the sex was great at first but then somewhere along the way, it wasn't.

When that happened to Lacey Haynes and Flynn Talbot, who've been together for 10-plus years and have two kids, they decided to do something about it.

The result is an open and intimate "sex diary" called Lacey and Flynn Have Sex. In less than a year, the U.K.-based podcast has attracted tens of thousands of listeners and was recently featured in The Guardian.

"We're shedding light on this part of life that often gets stigmatized and people have so much shame around, especially if it's not going well,"Haynes told CBC Radio's Information Morning.

She grew up in Dartmouth, N.S., and now lives inLondon with Talbot, who is from Australia. The couplecreated the podcast in April 2021 and have released 39 episodes so far.

They record themselves having sex while narrating in detail how they're feeling, what's working and what isn't, sometimes pausingto make sure the kids haven't woken up.

The two are sex-and-relationship coaches, but Talbot said they didn't start out wanting to expose themselvesin such detail for the world to hear.

How it started

Initially, they talked about recording the first episode right after they'd had sex, "but even that didn't feel like sharing a fully authentic experience," he said.

"So we decided to go ahead with it, and you can kind of hear us being a bit unsure, a bit tentative about it in the first episode."

Lacey and Flynn Have Sex is about their own experiences as a cisgenderheterosexual couple.

But Haynes admits it can be difficult for people to understand the point of it. She said it's not sex education or pornography.

"It's not pornography designed to titillate or to represent false ideals that are very damaging," she said."It's a real glimpse into a relationship of 10-plus years."

The podcasters' advice to others looking to improve their relationships is to be vulnerable and honest with yourself, and each other, and to not be afraid to talk things through.

"Always show up for your sex life in a consistent manner," Talbot said, "Because we believe that when this part of your relationship is really thriving, that the kind of ripple effects roll out onto all other parts of your life."

The challenge of remaining authentic

As the podcast gets more popular, Haynesand Talbotsaythe challenge now is making sure it remainsauthentic.

"You have to be willing to be with that challenge instead of slipping into performance, into showmanship, into trying to be the brighter version of yourself," Haynes said.

She isn't entirely sure how her family in Nova Scotia describes her career to others, but she knows they're supportive.

"Because I've generally done things differentlymy whole life, I think that even if there's momentary surprise, they're often just like, 'Well, OK, this is what she's doing now,'" she said.