Teen offspring of anonymous sperm donor find each other through online registry - Action News
Home WebMail Wednesday, November 20, 2024, 12:04 AM | Calgary | -9.3°C | Regions Advertise Login | Our platform is in maintenance mode. Some URLs may not be available. |
Ottawa

Teen offspring of anonymous sperm donor find each other through online registry

Three teens all only children found each other through an online registry for kids conceived with donated sperm, and immediately formed a special bond.

They shared common traits, like musical ability and arched eyebrows now they share a special bond

From left to right, Lexie Stewart, Briley Lewis and Katee Kemether met for the first time earlier this summer. (Julie Ireton/CBC)

Lexie Stewart can sing like an angelbut her mom can't even carry a tune just one of many mysteries forthe 15-year-old girlwho willlikely never meet the man who provided half her genesand many of her most notable traits.

Then, earlier this summer, Lexie met two of her half-siblings for the first time, and everything started to makesense.

The meeting took place at a beach house on the New Jersey shore, where three teens and five moms spent a week and a half getting to know each other and forging a new kind of family.

The motherswere perfect strangers, drawn together because they happened tochoose the same donor sperm from a company in Atlanta.

Kim Stewart with her daughter, Lexie. (Julie Ireton/CBC)

Lexie was brought up by her single mom, Kim Stewart, an Ottawa public servant who always told her only childshe'd moved heaven and earth to bring her into the world.

In her desperationto have a baby, Stewart didn't spend much time worrying about her future child's inevitable curiosity about the origin of her natural talents, her blondhair or heralmond-shaped eyes or if there was anyone else out there who shared her DNA.

But as Lexie grew older, hercuriosity grew, too.

'I wondered, do they look like me?'

About a year ago, Lexie logged on to the Donor Sibling Registry,a privatelyrunColorado-based online service that helps unite donor-conceived children with half-brothers and half-sisters around the world.

All they need to register is the unique donor code,a unique series of letters and numbers contained in the donor file their mothers received when their children were conceived.

With that code in hand, Lexie quickly discovered she had at least 14 half-siblings.

Just like that,she was no longer an only child.

"I was just so excited because I've always wanted to have siblings and finally, there's all these families. I'm reading their biographies and learning about them and what they look like. I wondered, do they look like me?"

They do. Most of the donor's offspringhave blonde hair and blue eyes, and all have a love of and talent for music.

"We know that he's a music teacher, which is pretty funny," saidLexie, who specializes in vocal performance at her arts high school.

'Like my birthday 10 times over'

Around the same time Lexie was starting to explore the donor registry, Briley Lewis, more than 2,300 kilometres away,was embarking on his own quest to find blood relatives.

Briley Lewis wore a special shirt to celebrate the meeting with his half-sisters. (Julie Ireton/CBC)

Briley plays trombone, piano and cello, but like Lexie, he said he's the "lone wolf" when it comes to any musical talent in his home. At 16, Briley is the pride of a lovingtwo-mom family in a conservativeKansas community.

He said his whole world changed when he signed on to the donor registry.

"I was really overwhelmed ... When I got on the website and saw all those entries, it was like my birthday 10 times over," says Briley.

He was the first to exchange messages withLexie. Kim Stewart remembers her daughter's shock and excitement.

"She said, 'Mom, my brother sent me an email,'" recalls Kim. "And it was just the greatest.We were both bawling."

There was more to come.

Their 1st meeting

In New Jersey, 15-year-old Katee Kemether and her moms bothlawyerswere also scrutinizing the Donor Sibling registry. Coincidentally, they finally decided to sign onwithin a couple of days of Lexie doing the same.

They'd later find out the two half-sistershad been born just days apart. In fact, the girls could almost pass for twins,with the same round faces, the same almond-shaped eyes, straight blondhair and a shared ability to arch their left eyebrow.

The three half-siblingsstarted messaging, exchanging emails,then communicatingvia Facetime. They formed an immediate bond, and soon began hatching a plan to get together with their mothers.

Even though they'd seen each other's faces on their smartphones and laptops, their moms stillblindfolded the kids for their first encounter. When they were led into the room and theblindfolds came off, they all screamed and hugged, ecstatic to finally meet.

Lexie, Briley and Katee meet in person for the first time.

8 years ago
Duration 0:42
Three children conceived from the same donor sperm see each other's faces for the first time.

"It was just so freaky to look at Lexie," said Katee.

Briley agreed. "When you see them in the flesh, it's a lot of staring. It's like, wow,"

Getting to know each other

Katee showed her half-siblings around, taking themkayaking andbiking. They went to a show in New York City, and watched the Fourth of July fireworks fromthe boardwalk.
Lexie Stewart holds a childhood photo of the anonymous sperm donor. (Supplied)

"I know there was some concern about how we're going to live for a week with these people we've never met before, but it's been fabulous," said Noreen Kemether, one of Katee's moms, who hosted the gathering at theirbeach house.

Briley's mom, Barb Lewis, said her son always felt like he was missing something.

"It would come up when he was younger. He'dwish he had a dad."

Instead, he had a dog-eared donor file that contained an essay written by the anonymousdonor, a photograph taken when he was about seven or eight years old, and other biographical tidbits.

"Now he has a family, I mean a real family ... To him, this is his family," Lewis said.

Lucky it turned out well

The momsall admit they had reservations about joining the registry, and about themeeting. They know they were lucky with the way it all turned out.

"I just didn't know what we might be embarking on, kind of opening up that door," said Kim Stewart.

It's a sentiment shared by Katee's mom,Noreen.

"I wanted to make sure that they were comfortable with it and comfortable with themselves."
This map shows the current locations of 14 of the children who were conceived with the anonymous donor's sperm and who later joined the Colorado-based Donor Sibling Registry. Pink indicates female offspring, blue indicates male and grey indicates unknown gender. (CBC)

The teens have been in touch with some of the 12 otherhalf-siblings registered, but have found most are younger, and somehave several brothers and sisters of their own. None of them haveformed the same close bond asLexie, Briley and Katee.

They know, too, that therecould be many more half-siblings out there who haven't joined the registry.

Their donor remains anonymous, and hasn't signed on to the voluntary registry either. Lexie said she doesn't care if she ever meets him, butKatee thinks it would be cool.

Briley said the void he once felt because he didn't know a fatherhas now been filled by his new sisters.

"If you'd asked me a few years ago, I'd say I'd really need to meet him. NowI feel better, andhaving two siblings that share the situation makes it a lot easier."

The three half-siblings and their five moms after meeting in New Jersey. (Julie Ireton/CBC)