Zexi Li looks back on the year that changed her and Ottawa forever

Every time Zexi Li's name appears in the news, the hateful phone calls, texts and emailsstart pouring in.

She knows this time won't be any different, but she agrees to thisyear-end interview anyway.

"They've definitely died down a lot in recent months, but it ebbs and flows with my presence in the media," Li told the CBC's Hallie Cotnam. "These are the consequences of my decisions, and I'm an adult so I have to live with them."

• Meet the 21-year-old Ottawa woman behind the injunction that silenced the honking
• Woman behind Ottawa class-action lawsuit brushes off haters

Li, now 22, is the federal public servant who literally came to represent thousands of beleaguered residents when she agreed to become the lead plaintiff in a multi-million-dollar class action against the convoy protesters who occupied downtown Ottawa for three weeks last winter.

That led to an injunction that provided at least some relief from the incessant honking of truck and train horns that had made living downtown torture for many. It was a courageous act, but it also made Li a target.

Witness at Emergencies Act inquiry

The personal attacks flared up again in October when Li appearedalongside fellow Centretown resident Victoria De La Rondebefore the Public Order Emergency Commission, which is probing the federal government's decision to invoke the Emergencies Act on Feb. 14 to help end the occupation in Ottawa, and similar blockades elsewhere.

During her testimony, Li made headlines by comparing the scene outside her residential building to the dystopian horror franchiseThe Purge, in which the public is given temporary carte blanche to commit murder and other acts of violence without interference from law enforcement. While Li testified, some of the convoy organizers named in the lawsuit sat just metres away.

"To be honest, it was an odd experience," said Li, who admits to being caught off-guard during cross-examination by the aggressive style of the lawyer for the convoy organizers, particularly when he seemed to insinuate some sort of political connection between Li and certain local politicians.

She read later that some had misinterpreted her facial expression during that appearance as smugness.

"That's just shock and confusion from the statements he's making," Li said."I supposethat is the job of the cross-examinerto catch me off-guard, but I wasn't really briefed about too much."

'It was just chaos'

In fact, Li, a data analyst with Shared Services Canada,had been enjoying a relatively quiet life working from the apartment she shares with her cats. Then the convoy rolled into town.

"It was just chaos. It was chaos downtown," said Li, recalling the moment she realized the protesters were building a canteen outside her building."I remember watching them build it and just thinking, oh my goodness, I knew they weren't leaving but now they're building structures."

Compounding that fear was the sense of utter abandonment many downtown residents felt as police became increasingly outnumbered and outmanoeuvred by the protesters.

Li, who describes herself as a problem solver,helped organize a meeting between her neighbours and police, and that's where she was singled out as a potential plaintiff for the class action that was by then already in the works. She says she agreed because for every downtown residentwho was hopping mad, she knew there were many more suffering in silence.

"Each person that I encountered made me think of the next person that I didn't encounter, and the people that are inside of their homes, and really just all the untold stories ... of the people that were suffering through what was going on."

Neighbours leaving downtown

For some of Li's neighbours, it was just too much.

"People have actually been moving out of the downtown core because they're afraid that this is going to happen again," Li said.

"I really love living downtown and I really love my neighbours downtown and ... the community that exists there, and it makes me sad that that's a reason someone would move away from it. Not that I don't understand, because I definitely do."

Li believes the damage wrought by the convoy on the collective trust in our institutions to protect us in times of crisis may be deeper and longer-lasting than many suspect.

"I think it speaks to the magnitude of the failure,"Li said. "This kind of failure requires real action and real responses in new situations for people to ... regain their faith."

Class action looming

For that reason, Li said she had mixed feelings about accepting a city builder award from former mayor Jim Watson in March. Many have pointed out that instead of taking decisive action themselves, city officials leftit to a then 21-year-old citizen with no legal or political experience.

As much as the whole experience has challengedher, Li believes it also helped her grow as a citizen and as a person.

"Really, I think I became an adult in the sense that I formed a lot of my own opinions, I discovered a lot about the world, and I just learned, I think, in a way that I haven't before."

Li isn't closing the door to a possible future in politics, but said now's not the right time for her.

"I'm not crossing it off, but I'm still learning a lot about the world, and I don't think it would do anyone justice if I were to rush into anything," she said.

For now, she's enjoying a return to relative normalcy,though simple things like a fresh blanket of snow can trigger memories of those three weeks last winter.

The class action is still looming, and Li knows she'll likely have to relive it all again, inviting a fresh round of phone calls, texts and emails from angry strangers.

"No matter what, no matter how thick your skin is, it's always going to be damaging." she said. "I think that speaks to the fact that more people should [take action], and more people should stand up and fight for what they believe in."