'Emotional support' a key way to help in Humboldt tragedy, psychologist says

The national outpouring of grief following the Humboldt Broncos tragedy is both natural and important, Charlottetown psychologist Christine Beck says.

"It helps us cope with what's happened and understand the depth and importance of the event," Beck said.

While it may seem odd to be so moved by an event that happened thousands of kilometres away, Beck said there are connections that have nothing to do with distance.

"A lot of people would feel the similarities in their life, because this incident has had such a reach to different sorts of people: the families who were billeting, parents obviously, coaches, fans," she said.

That stick at the door was emotional support, and that's why we're all drawn to it.- Christine Beck

But when an event like this happens so far away, it can be difficult to know how to respond.

Beck said for people who can't help directly, for example, by providing meals for grieving families, initiatives such as putting out hockey sticks and books of condolence can be important both for those families and for people looking for a way to help.

"That stick at the door was emotional support, and that's why we're all drawn to it," she said.

"That book, I think somebody's going to be picking it up and reading it in a year, in a year and a half, in five years. All those words will be looked at."

Helping at home

Beck said she has noticed more anxiety in her patients this week, and she said that is also natural.

People can deal with their own anxiety levels, she said, by trying to focus on the important content in the story, and its context, rather than the more sensational aspects.

For people dealing with children, who may suddenly find themselves anxious about getting on a team bus or in a car, a similar approach is recommended. Provide context and talk about relative safety, but don't overstate.

"Don't spend too much time telling them they're perfectly safe. You want to avoid that because that's something you can't tell them, and that builds anxiety,"Beck said.

"If you tell somebody there's no chance of getting into an accident today, everything's going to be fine, they know that's not true."

It can take time to talk someone through this, said Beck. There is always risk, she said, but we take these small risks in order to do the things we want to do.

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