'Our way of hygge': Danes on P.E.I. share lessons in appreciating simple things

When Kristen Connor and her husband Tom moved to Canada from Denmark 50 years ago, they brought the Danish sensibility of "hygge" with them.

Pronounced "hew-ga," the word has no direct translation into English. One way it's been described is a coziness of the soul, as a secret weapon for getting through a long, cold winter. Hygge is all about creating a sense of connection, comfort and contentment in your life.

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Danish people say hygge is more of a feeling or a state of being, that can't be summed up in a single word. But it is as important to the Danish identity, as politeness is in Canada.

The Connors, who now live in Charlottetown, raised their two boys in a house where family and togetherness came first. They instilled a strong work ethic but also taught their children the importance of slowing down and enjoying life.

"The boys delivered papers in our neighbourhood for 11 years, so all through the week we were up and about and going," Kristen Connor said.

"But on Sundays, from the time they were very small, we made sure that we sat together around the dining room table. We used some Danish cups that were given to us from our wedding and we had tea and English muffins with jam and cheese at our leisure. And the boys, to this day talk about that."

"On Sundays we felt special and we knew it was special, and that was our way of hygge."

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'Safe and snug'

Connor grew up in a small Danish village 60 km from Copenhagen. It was a close knit community, the kind of place where people helped and cared for each other.

"We were very safe and snug," she said "We always felt that everybody knew everybody and nothing bad could happen."

Some people think that the word hygge really came from the word hug.- Kirsten Connor

That sense of safety and security is a building block of what it means to feel hygge, she explained hygge fosters a feeling that all is right with the world right now, in this moment.

"Some people think that the word hygge really came from the word hug," said Connor.

From spending time at home with family, to spending the day celebrating special milestones with good friends or simply sitting quietly, enjoying a cup of tea and the warm glow of a candle, the feeling can come in many forms.

"Hygge is a very broad thing," explained Connor. "You can experience it all through your life on all different levels."

Relax and reflect

Spending time together in a leisurely way is a cornerstone of Hygge. It is about slowing down and appreciating the small, meaningful moments in life.

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"It's enjoying the moment that you have and not looking forward to the next, but sitting back and saying I have no worry in the world right now," she said. "That is hygge to enjoy what's around you and the people around you."

Charlottetown resident Jorgen Nissen was born in Odense, Denmark. His family lived in a small village where people lived simply, but shared what they had. He fondly remembers enjoying "hyggeligt" evenings with neighbours.

"Hyggeligt means you have a nice evening, a good conversation and a good friendship," Nissen explained.

Nissen remembers his family gathering with next door neighbours to host little parties in their homes. The men played cards for small coins, the children would carefully stack the coins and the women would knit and chat. Then everyone would enjoy coffee and cake.

"The mothers had it all prepared and would make everything from scratch," he said. "It was a tall order for them. It was a real treat, that's what I remember it was a big thing to me."

Valuable lessons

But hygge is not simply about carving out time for leisure. The Danish people have a deep appreciation for the value of hard work, and they raise their children to value it too.

Nissen said doing chores like tending the family's garden and mowing the lawn instilled a strong work ethic in him. His parents taught him how to work hard as child so he could go out and find a job and keep a job as an adult.

"I never really appreciated what I had before I left Denmark and came to Canada," he said. "I remember my first Christmas Eve in a basement apartment in Saskatchewan and writing home to my parents all the things I appreciated about how they brought us up."

Connor said when children contribute to the family unit, it helps create a sense of unity and togetherness. That is the essence of hygge.

"When we grew up we saw the work that our parents did. We lived the work that our parents did. In our little family business we were out there helping, we were part of it," Connor said.

"We built that unit all together with more than thoughts, we built that with our work too," she said. "There is a satisfaction. You feel that you have contributed to the family and to what we share, and we had that satisfaction as kids."

'A lot more to it'

For Connor, hygge goes much deeper than curling up under a cozy quilt and lighting a candle.

"It's nice to say that hygge is just this and that, but if you look at it and the effect it has on yourself and on your lifestyle and your bringing up of kids, I think there is a lot more to it," Connor said. "And I'm grateful that I experienced that."

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So maybe tapping into a little Danish hygge might just be the answer to getting through a long Canadian winter. Taking the time to enjoy the simple things in life and connecting with family and friends is a great way to keep the winter blues away.

After all, it may be cold and the dark outside, but taking the time to look inside may help us appreciate the light and the warmth we feel there.

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