'Candles with KFC': How P.E.I. couples keep the spark after Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is over, and the roses are fading even if every day can't be as romantic as Feb.14, how do P.E.I. couples keep the bloom on their relationships?

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I asked Islanders via social media, and severalin long-term relationships shared their approaches to keeping love alive.

We have a very active and healthy sex life which we believe is important. Misty-Lynn Caseley

While Karen McInnis commented, simply, "lingerie," and Alexander MacKay said, "hot tub," most respondents had quite a bit more to say on the subject.

"Gratitude and appreciation for the constantly and quietly supportive things my husband does for me makes me love him more every year that goes by," was the simple statement of Kirstin Lund of Stratford, P.E.I.

"Treat every day like the first time that spark kicked you, and never let things get boring!" replied Bernie Flynn of Charlottetown, who has been married for more than 25 years.

'Chemistry has a lot to do with it'

For some, it was a matter of choosing well in the first place.

"I believe chemistry has a lot to do with it," said Bonita Watts. "After 17 years, I still find my man very attractive to me." Watching him being a "great dad" only strengthened that attraction, she added.

Misty-Lynn Caseley of Long River, P.E.I., who's been with her now-husband Graham for almost 26 years, agrees and kicks the conversation up a notch.

"We have a very active and healthy sex life which we believe is important," she shares, admitting the relationship is not always bed of roses.

'Not a fairy tale'

She advises that when couples argue, it's sometimes best to get away from one another other until you both calm down, even if that means sleeping in different rooms for a night or just going for a walk alone, Caseleywrites.

"Our relationship is not about holding hands or smooching, it is about mutual respect, working as a team and deep commitment to each other," Caseley said, noting there have been plenty of bad times with the good, and marriage is "work."

"We do not sit and gaze into each other's eyes real, lasting love is based on reality, not a fairy tale," she concluded.

'Put your relationship first'

Kim Bradshaw Ellsworth, 46, an Islander who recently moved to Edmonton, shares that she and her husband have been together for almost 32 years and have three children. And as you can see in the photo, they DO still enjoy gazing into each other's eyes.

"As controversial as it may sound, you have to put your relationship first. Before children, parents etc.," she writes.

The couple's biggest rule of thumb, she said, is "the belief that we beat to our own drum and only ours alone... for example, we don't wear our wedding bands to this day. We know where they are, we just don't feel that it's a measurement or a material possession that binds the relationship."

Although their love has changed, Ellsworth said, "as the days pass and they turn into years, it's only then that you realize that the love you have for one another grows stronger... each step of the way you see your partner's smile in a whole new light."

Date night

In the vein of "working on" love, many shared that they make sure to have "date nights" with their spouse.

"Chris and I have been married 21 years and we still do date nights each week," shared Tammy MacKinnon of Cornwall, P.E.I. "I really believe it's one of the ways we've stayed close and keep building on our friendship and marriage."

They go out to dinner, to movies, or cook at home or go for a drive. "Just things like that that we can spend time alone and talk and laugh," she said.

The MacKinnons also take a trip together every year, without any of their four children.

And then there's ink

Terry-ann Avery of Charlottetown, who's been married to her husband Kent for 39 years, said the couple looks for things to thank each other for.

"It takes work and I think people have forgotten that. People come home too tired from their day job and forget their real job is making their spouse feel loved," she said.

The couple also looks for ways to make every day special, Avery said.

"It's the little things, like candles with KFC," she wrote.

Avery wears her heart on her sleeve, too last year she finally got the tattoo she's always said she would. The ink on her lower arm says "Welder's Wife, Man of Steel."

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