Leaving abusive relationship means planning ahead, expert says

In Saskatchewan, which has the highest rate of intimate partner homicidesin the country,getting out of an abusive relationship isn't always easy.

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That's why those who must leave a violentrelationship need tohave a plan, says Jo-Anne Dusel, spokespersonfor the Provincial Association of Transition Houses and Services (PATHS) of Saskatchewan.

Plans can include putting some money away and obtaining copies of car keys and important documents. Another idea is having clothing packed away, possibly left with a friend or in the trunk of the car.

Speaking to Morning Edition host Sheila Coles, Jo-Anne Dusel noted that women in abusive relationshipstry to leave an average of seven times.

"We understand that leaving is a journey," Dusel said. "It's not an event."

There are various reasons an abused partner might not leave, including:

• Economic
• Religious
• Family Pressure
• Children
• Embarrassment
• Love

"Ultimately there is the safety concern because when you're in a relationship that is very volatile, the most dangerous time is the time when your partner becomes aware you want to leave," said Dusel, who is the provincial co-ordinator of PATHS.

Spouses who are leaving should tell someone they really trust whether it's a friend, family member or counsellor about their plans.

"If you have a friend experiencing domestic violence, let them know they are able to talk to you and you will not tell anyone," Dusel said. "It is OK to give them phone numbers for counsellors or domestic abuse hotlines. Let them know you know."

There were 58 intimate partner homicides in Saskatchewan between 2000 and 2010, the highest rate of any province in that period, according to Statistics Canada.