'I wanted to die': Gender diverse teen talks self-harm and support after bullying

Jordyn Dyck didn't want to live anymore after experiencing incessant bullying.

"I wanted to die," the 14-year-old said. "People didn't like me, I guess, because of who I am."

In Grade 7, Jordyncame out to peers astransgenderat school. Jordynnow identifies asgender diverse anduses they as a pronoun rather than thegender-specific pronoun she or he.

After they came out, bullying became frequent and targeted. People would ask Jordyn if they were a boy or a girl. People sent Jordyn pictures of the teen'sbirth name. Others sent crude drawings of genitalia.

"I felt like I couldn't support myself and all these other people didn't support me," Jordyn said. "I just felt like I was lost and scared and alone."

A new study shows that transgender youth in the Prairie provinces reported higher rates of bullying than their peers across Canada. Young transgender people from the Prairies also have attempted to harm or kill themselves more often.

I wish people knew that it hurt a lot, because then maybe they wouldn't have done it.- Jordyn Dyck

The Prairies study is based on the responses of 67 Manitoba and Saskatchewan teens and young adults who participated in the Canadian Trans Youth Health Survey.

Bullying almost daily

"They were the first gender diverse child in their school to come out,"said DustinDyck,Jordyn'sfather and chairperson for the Trans Umbrella Foundation.

He said some form of bullying would take place almost daily.

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The bullying didn't end until Jordyn's family went to the police. The overt harassment stopped, but the feelings lingered.

"I wish people knew that it hurt a lot, because then maybe they wouldn't have done it," Jordyn said.

"I was treated differently, because I was born a female and wanted to be a different person than I was."

Jordyn self-harmed and eventually attempted suicide.

"I'm surprised that I didn't end up dying, to be honest," Jordyn said.

The teen is currently working with mental health and medical professionals to deal with the lingering effects of the bullying and other issues. They also took the year off schooland plan to start fresh at a new high school in the fall.

Journey of self-discovery

Jorydnformerly went by the name Lucas when they identified as transgender, but that's no longer the case.

Through their personaltransition, Jordynrealized transgenderwasn't the right fit for what they felt in their mind. Now Jordyn identifies asagender, which means they don't identify as being male or female.

The journey of self-discoveryhas been tough for Jordyn, but havingsupporthas made it bearable.

Last year, they participated in the pride parade for the first time and for the first time they didn't feel so alone.

"I just felt like I was safe and I felt like I was loved," Jordyn said.

The study also found young peoplewho feel supported by those around themare less likely to engage in self-harm.

"I feel more accepted. I feel like I can accept myself more than I could before because of all the people that have helped me through my transition," Jordyn said.

Education key to stopping bullying

Jordynis stronger because of the severe ups and downs they've faced, Dustin said.

"They've blossomed," he said.

"I'm starting to seeJordynnow. I'm seeing their true colours, their loving spirit, their kindness, everything that I knew them to be, but they're starting to show everybody again."

He said Jordyn's journey has fosteredhis understanding of gender diversity. Dustin said he felt lost when his child first came out.

"I didn't know anything. I didn't know what the word transgendermeant," he said, adding he's had to educate himself.

When the bullying began, his first reaction was anger, but now he tries to use those situations to teachothers.

'It doesn't hurt me anymore. It hurts me to see Jordyn upset, obviously, but the education's happening."

Now he wants to educate peopleabout gender diversity, and on how to ask questions and whycertain comments can hurt.

"'Are you boy or are you a girl?' Well, my child is agender. That means they don't particularly have a gender. They're not a boy or a girl so that question can be quite hurtful," he said.

Camp fYrefly opens for registration

Asummer camp that offers leadership and life skills to gender diverse people ages14-24 has opened for registration. It's the ninth year the camp has operated.

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The camp was founded in 2004 in Albertaand is one of Canada's biggest summer leadership retreats for gender diverse youth. It came to Saskatchewan in 2008 and this year runs Aug. 10-13 in Saskatoon.

A new fYrefly in Schools program is also coming to Saskatoon and area schools in the fall, aimed at reducingdiscrimination through awareness of gender minorities, destigmatizinggender diversity and increasingsocial inclusion of gender diverse people.

If you're worried someone you know may be at risk of suicide, you should talk to them,according to theCanadian Association of Suicide Prevention.

Mental health resources are available throughout the province with theHealthlineat 811.