'I was cut, bruised and scraped': UCC graduate says he was devastated by hazing ritual at elite boys school

A former Upper Canada Collegestudent who claims he was sexually assaulted by fellow students at the prestigious Toronto private schoolmore than 30years ago says the recent allegations at St. Michael's College School haveprompted him to go public.

"I think the more people that are able to speak out about itshines a light on the things that happen and makes it easier for other people who have been through itto come forward," said StuartCowan, who is in his 50s today.

Police laid criminal chargeslastweek against six students in connection with an allegedgang sexual assaultat St. Michael's College School, an all-boys private Catholic school in Toronto.The principal and president of the schoolhave resigned.

Cowanattended UCC in the 1970s and 80s. He described the environment as "dog eat dog" and said bullying was rampant throughout the elite, all-boys school.

He said he excelled academically and was an accomplishedathlete, playing on the football and hockey teams. Still, he said, he was more of a non-conformist, didn't want to belong to a clique,which made him a target for bullying.

"Constant name-calling, physical attacks,grabbing your backpack, stealing your lunch, you know, Movie of the Week kind of stuff," he said.

He said, for him, turning to teachers for help wasn't really an option, as he witnessed many of them exhibitingsimilar bullying behaviour, name-calling and picking on students.

CBCNews is relying on Cowan's own account of his time at UCC andhas not independentlyverified the details.

UCC said in a statement to CBC that it does not tolerate harassment, abuse or intimidation, which, it said, "are against everything the college stands for as an educational institution."

• Read the full statementfrom Upper Canada College

The school said it wouldn't be appropriate to comment on individual cases in the media but that it would welcome hearing fromCowan.

It said it has reached out to students and alumni in the past.

"For any and all allegations brought to our attention, we have always met with the individual, listened and taken appropriate action," the statement said.

School apologies for past abuse

Cowanattended the school when Doug Brown was a teacher. In 2005, Brown was sentenced to three years in prisonafter being found guilty on nine charges of indecent assault involving students at the school.

Seven students, ages11 to 13, testified the former English teacher touched them inappropriately.

Cowan said Brown was one of his teachers but never assaultedhim. However, he said he was aware of complaints about Brown that the school appeared to have ignored.

"What signal does that send toeverybody? There was no protection from the administration to speak out against these issues," he said.

In 2007, the school sent a letter to students, parents and alumni apologizing "to all those in our community who ever endured or witnessed any form of sexual or physical abuse at the school,"the Toronto Star reported.

It alsoput in place new policies and protocols in wake of the Brown case aimed at "preventing, identifying and investigating harassment, abuse and violence." The policesare regularly reviewed and updated, UCC said in its statement.

Pinned down

Cowandescribed one devastatingexperience he had as a UCC student during an out-of-town tournament for one of his school teams. Four of his teammates, including some of theteam captains, asked Cowan to join them in their hotel room for a few beers, he said.

"And I thought, 'Wow, this is cool. The captains are asking me.'"

[They] held me down, probably for about an hour. I struggled the entire time.- Stuart Cowan

He said he went up to their room and had a couple of beers, when the boys, two of whom were his friends,jumped him, pinned him down and stripped offhis clothes.

He said he was subjected to a hazing ritual that includedshaving offhis pubic hairand fondling his genitals.

"I was cut, bruised and scraped.[They] held me down, probably for about an hour. I struggled the entire time," he said.

One boylay across his legs andtwo pinned his arms while the fourth had shaving cream and a razor, he said.

"They were having their jollies," Cowan said. "They were enjoying themselves.They were chatting with one anotherand ignoring anything I had to say."

He said he was "devastated" by the experience but didn't want to tell anyone.

The next day, Cowan said, the team coachridiculed him for having been attacked,laughed in hisfaceand gave hima derogatory nickname.

"It stuck with me the entire time I was there and just made it known to me that he had condoned the entire event," he said.

He said two of the boys came to his room afterward to try to apologize, but he told them off.

"Ididn'twant anything to do with them. I was very upset."

'You soldier on'

Cowansaid he remained in contact with two of the boys, but the assault was just something they never talked about.

"You soldier on," he said.

He remembers, about a decade after the assault, that he actually apologized to one of them for getting so upset about the attack.

"He wasa bit off-put by my apology, so his perspective on it, I think, had grown," Cowan said.

Cowansaid the sexual assault impacted his life, caused behavioural issuesand affected his relationships.

Any incident of assault orbullying is deeply troubling to us, and this story is no exception.- Statement from Upper Canada College

Years later, he was able to work through hisissues, with professional help, he said.

As for the four abusers,he says, he has forgiven them.

"I'm not interested in bearing grudges," Cowan said.

"People make mistakes. The most important thing is to learn from them."

UCC said in its statement that it is "a transformative time in our culture related to issues of assault and bullying" and that such conduct wouldnot be tolerated, and reported incidents wouldbe investigated and acted upon.

"Any incident of assault orbullying is deeply troubling to us, and this story is no exception. We applaud all individuals for their courage in sharing their stories," the school said.

• Read the statement from UCC