'Breastfeeding bullies' keep up campaign that 'breast is best'

Being a mom to three boys is not a jobTrishBentley takes lightly and neither was the choice over whether to bottle-feed orbreastfeedthem.

Bentley kept trying, with little success, tobreastfeedafter each of her babies wasborn:Olly, now seven, Eddie who's five and her youngest Ben, who is 19 months old.

"I felt like a failure," she says. "I thought, here is the biggest job on the planet, and here in my first month, I am failing miserably."

Feeling guilty and depressed, she eventually felt she hadto switch to pumpingand supplementing with formula.

But soon after, at a gathering with friends, she says she was brought back to some of those negative emotions, saying she felt disapproval and judgment after the topic of feeding came up.

"They all said, 'Oh, just bring the baby in here, just put him back on your breast. Try again, come on,'" she recalls, the episode still clearly riling her up. "And I'm like, 'You don't think that I haven't tried that? For three babies now?'"

Changing the message

So-called "breastfeeding bullies" have been shaming moms on social media for years. It's easy to find their comments online, on message boards or on parenting blogs.

"Formula-feeding is selfish," reads one. "Moms who formula-feed are lazy," says another.

The death of a B.C. woman suffering from postpartum depression is drawing more attention to the issue after her husband recently posted a statement on Facebook about her depression and her anxiety over breastfeeding.

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The message of "breast is best" has long been touted in doctors' offices, medical literature and parenting groups for decades, intended to be a positive movement aimed at promoting breastfeeding and itsbenefits.

But in this highly charged debate, another campaign has emerged: It's called "fed is best" and promotes the idea that a fed baby is a happy one. The goal of the campaign, started by a U.S. non-profit, is to make sure new mothers don't feel inferior if they are unable to, or choose not to, breastfeed for reasons includinglow milk supply, difficulty with breastfeedingtechnique, a medical conditionor the decision to return to work.

"Mothers don't just breastfeed anymore they believe inbreastfeeding. They preachbreastfeeding," says Courtney Jung, the author of Lactivism, a book that explores the pressure to breastfeed, and the bullyingthat sometimes goes along with it.

"They really believe mothers who don't breastfeed are doing damage to their children," Jung says.

Women pushing back

Jung has nothing againstbreastfeeding; she breastfed her two children. But she says it's the "smugness" and the"moral self-righteousness" of breastfeeding advocates that gets to her.

"My experience has been that women are pushing back against the established dogmas around breastfeeding and insisting on their own right to choose now," she says.

Last year, the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologiststweakedits policy on breastfeeding, saying while it "strongly encourages" women to breastfeed, it also recognizes that a mother "is uniquely qualified to decide whether exclusivebreastfeeding, mixed feedingor formula feeding is optimal for her and her infant."

The Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada isn't planning to follow suit, sticking with its guidelines of exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby's life and continued breastfeeding up to two years of age or beyond.

At Toronto's Michael Garron Hospital, moms who have trouble breastfeeding can get help.

Jennifer Levy startedvisiting the hospital's breastfeeding clinic after she gave birth to herdaughter Olive, who's now one. Levy had difficulty getting the baby to latch onto her breast but was able to succeed with guidance from a lactation consultant.

"I knew that breastfeedingat first could be challenging,"she says. "But I did know, if I stuck with it, and was able to access support and get help, I maintained the faith that it would work out."

There are many benefits to breastfeeding, says Toronto family physician Danielle Martin, including improved immunity, lower rates of infections and better cognitive development.

But having said that, she says "lots of healthy kids" have been formula-fed.

"There's no need to lay it on so thick with women that we make them feel that they are inadequate moms if they can't, or don't wishto, breastfeed."

Breastfeeding campaign shames women who choose formula

8 years ago

Duration 2:39

Mothers who choose formula over breastfeeding, either because they can't or don't want to, face stigma for their decision.