Female fans know sports, so give us the respect we deserve

This column is an opinionby Amelia Mola-Schmidt,a Canadian freelance reporter based in Prague, Czech Republic. For more information aboutCBC's Opinion section, please see theFAQ.

There is no doubt that women face a glass ceiling in professional sports we have seen this more than ever in recent weeks in Canada. Just look at what is happening with the women's national soccer team.

But the pervasiveness of gender inequality goes beyond the player level women also face barriers as sports fans.

As a sports fan myself, I am familiar with these obstacles. When I make a statement like "I love the Toronto Maple Leafs!'' in the company of a male friend, the enthusiastic response I anticipate is often met with raised eyebrows and a smug expression.

In many cases, when I talk about my love of sports, the first thing men do is actively question my knowledge. I have been grilled with comments like "name five players," and "do you even know what offside means?" in a way that suggests that based on my status as a female sports fan, I am unqualified to engage in game talk.

Yes, I do know the answer, and so do a lot of women. So why are we subject to interrogation? The idea that women do not "know" sports as well as men is rooted in a sexist and patriarchal past that viewed professional athletics as men's domain. Not only is this incorrect, but it creates a hostile environment for women to express their love for sports freely.

Who is a 'real fan'?

Research has debunked the misconception that men are the die-hard sports fans in society, while women are simply passive spectators. Female fans know just as much as men and are just as passionate. But with the societal perception of men being "true fans," they gatekeep who is a "real fan" and who is not. This, in my eyes, contributes to women feeling alienated by exclusionary conversations about sports.

In my experience, when men accept women into sports dialogue, it's because they place us into one of two distinct categories: the cheerleader or the tomboy. In the case of the cheerleader, we are the hyper-sexualized sports fan who is merely there to cheer the team on, unaware of what is really happening in the game. In the case of the tomboy, our femininity is stripped from us, and we are seen as one of "the boys" who can talk sports. This binary allows men to categorize us in a way that is digestible to them, but as a woman, it's uncomfortable and limiting.

Shifting the dialogue

There is no doubt that it will take time to shift the dialogue so women are more accepted in sports conversations. I have some thoughts on how men can change the conversation so it is more inclusive.

Engage in debate, but don't interrogate. This means thinking through your line of questioning. Demanding the woman you're speaking with name three players, or asking if she knows the recent stats for a team will make her feel like she's going through the third degree, and in my experience, that just makes me shut down. We don't want to be grilled. We just want to feel comfortable talking about the sports we love.

When you engage in a conversation, ask why a woman likes a player in terms of their playing style, tactics, or skill level. Avoid questions that play into stereotypes about women only watching sports because it's a chance to stare at men.

Don't start by explaining

Assume the woman you're speaking to knows what she's talking about. Don't start off by explaining a rule chances are, she probably knows it already. Assume she does, and if she asks you for clarification, answer it, by all means.

I certainly do not want to paint all men with the same brush by declaring they intentionally exclude women from sports dialogue. I have had positive experiences in my life, with my own dad who I believe is an example of how men should behave when speaking to women about sports.

When we watch the Leafs together, he asks me questions about the team's chemistry, he gracefully points out statistics, and we respectfully debate questionable referee calls. In these conversations, I know he not only sees me as his daughter, but he also sees me as an equally passionate fan. Being visible in that way is so important to female sports fans everywhere to begin to bridge the gap in gender inequality.

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