John Baird's decade in federal politics: 13 quotes to remember

With John Baird's exit, Parliament Hill loses one of its most colourful and quotable ministers.

As one of Prime MinisterStephen Harper's most loyal foot soldiers packs his tent and leaves public office, let's revisit the rhetorical run of the man known by some as "Rusty":

Defending the Accountability Act in the House of Commons (andmis-speaking):

"Let us replace darkness with light. Let us replace accountability with corruption." -June 20, 2006

Explaining the Harper government's decision to cut the Court Challenges Program, which fundedlitigation in the name of equal rights:

"I just don't think it made sense for the government to subsidize lawyers to challenge the government's own laws in court." - Sept. 25, 2006

Shooting down theidea of a carbon taxor "cap and trade" as ways of dealing with greenhouse gas emissions in Canada, under questioning at committee from Liberal critic DavidMcGuinty:

"We don't sit around the cabinet table dreaming up ways to increase taxes. That's certainly more common in theMcGuintyfamily than in the Harper cabinet." -Feb. 8, 2007

Justifying his decision to withhold federal funding for Ottawa's light rail transit in the middle of a municipal election campaign, amid charges ofinappropriate political interference:

"If you want to avert a billion-dollar boondoggle, you have to make some difficult decisions." -Feb. 6, 2008

Telling CBCNewsworld'sDon Newman why Stephen Harper's minority governmentneeded to prorogue Parliament mere weeks after a general election, rather than face a non-confidence vote brought by a coalition of opposition parties unhappy withits economic strategy:

"I think what we want to do is basically take a time out, go over the heads of the members of Parliament, go over the heads frankly of the Governor General and go right to the Canadian people..." -Dec. 4, 2008

Texting, setting off a frenzyof international fact-checkinguntil it was confirmed that the minister was, in fact, talking about thepet cat he'd named after his political hero:

"Thatcher has died."- Feb. 10, 2009

Harassing Liberal committee chairYasminRatansi, after showing up unannounced with two other ministers at a meeting where theirstaff wereto be questioned in theRahimJafferconflict of interest affair:

"I never said I was a witness...I'm here to answer any and all questions and be accountable as a minister." - Commons government operations committee, June 2, 2010

Respondingto the Liberal and NDP opposition's plans to defeat a private member's bill to repeal the long gun registry:

"We're all accountable. If we make clear and unambiguous promises in our constituencies and then face pressure from Toronto elites, [MPs are] accountable for that." - Sept. 16, 2010

Commenting onstudent flash mobs popping up during the general election campaign, encouraging young people to vote:

"I'm not sure we want flash mobs. I don't know what a flash mob is. It sounds a bit disconcerting... I don't like the context of either word." - April 5, 2011

Describing the Harper government's approach to foreign policy, duringhisfirst United Nations General Assembly:

"Canada does not just 'go along' in order to 'get along.' We will 'go along,' only if we 'go' in a direction that advances Canadas values: freedom, democracy, human rights and the rule of law." -Sept. 26, 2011

Replying toLiberal critic ScottBrison, whoasked why Conservatives were giving each other "golden showers" in reference to Baird's gold-embossed business cards, contrary to Treasury Board policy:

"I sat down with the president of the Treasury Board [Tony Clement] and said 'Have I got a deal for you.I'll give you $50 million of infrastructure funds if you'll give me $400worth of business cards.'" -Sept. 30, 2011

Replying in question period toNew Democrat Pat Martin, who askedwhat Canada is doing to prevent azombie apocalypse:

"I amdead-icatedto ensuring that this never happens. I want to say categorically to this member and through him to all Canadians that under the leadership of this Prime Minister Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever! ...If there is a zombie attack, Canadians need to be well prepared. They should stock up on first aid kits, monster trucks, canned food and water...And I am not going to stand in this place and not warn Canadians that if theNDPhad its way, Canadians would have to pay a carbon tax on each and every one of those."- Feb. 13, 2013

Joking with Ottawa CentreMP (and NDPforeign affairs critic) Paul Dewar about being his constituent, after flooding at his house forced him to seek temporary accommodations downtown:

"You work for me. Remember that!"- Jan. 29, 2015