Are quiet loners unfairly linked with violence?

He was a quiet, withdrawn loner.Ayoung man who would stare at the floor and press himself against the wall, gripping his briefcase, ifothers approached him.

This is how Adam Lanzathe gunman whopolice say killed his mother andthen 26 other people, including 20 childrenis being rememberedfollowingthemass shooting in Newtown, Conn, on Dec. 14.

• Timeline: Newtown school shooting

Lanzaswithdrawnnaturehas made headlines all over the world, as observerswonder how to spot troubledreclusives among the quiet kids who simply prefer to keep to themselves. The discussion itself can be incredibly charged. The word "loner" in this contextrecallsdescriptions of the solitary gunmen behind the shootings atVirginia Tech,Dawson Collegeand just this summer at aColorado movie theatre, among others.

Steven Reiss, an emeritus professor of psychology and psychiatry at Ohio State University, worries that many people who are shy, private orsolitary are stigmatized by all the talk about loner status and violence in the wake of such tragedies.

'[A person's status as a loner] tells us absolutely nothing about how dangerous that person might be.' Steven Reiss, emeritus professor of psychology and psychiatry

"There is really almost no correlation between how friendly and social someone is and how potentially violent and vengeful they are," hetold CBC News.

"If being a loner was related to violence, we'd have a lot of trouble in the monastery."

Unfair stigma or useful signal?

Where a person falls on the spectrum betweenthe solitary and thegregarious,Reiss argues,says "absolutely nothing about how dangerous that person might be."

Other indicatorslike the way a person handles criticism and rejectionare much more telling.

Reiss haspublicly jousted with those who feel it's worth exploring therelationship between a person's propensity for violence and whether or not they are socially isolated.

'What is it about our society that leaves more and more people on the fringes?' Stanton Peele, psychologist and practicing psychotherapist

Stanton Peele, a psychotherapist in New York City, has directly challenged Reiss insome of his articles. Peele argues that society must take a closer look at why so many lone gunmenare alsoisolated from their communities.

"I'm not interested in damning socially isolated people, but what is it about our society that leaves more and more people on the fringes?"Peele said, adding that"lonely killers"who enter public places and begin shooting have no social bearings, no lack of time to let resentments fester, no one to talk to,and little to nothing to lose.

"Obviously not all lonely men are mass murderers, or even bad guys. But, to judge from their worst examples, lonely men are a high-risk group," Peele wrote in a recent post about Lanza, whom he called the epitome of the isolated killer.

A matter of degree

In thinking about this issue, Judith Wiener, a University of Toronto professor at the School and Clinical Child Psychology program, says the first thing to note is how rare these instances are.

"The worstthing for loners is to stereotype them,"Wiener told CBC News, adding that there are solitary children in every classroom.

"The loner by choice may still have one best friend," said Wiener, explaining that many perfectly healthy but quiet children may not initiate conversation, but will respond when engaged especially in smaller groups and when the people involved are familiar to them.

Children who happen to be more solitary but whoselevel of sociability has been more or less consistent over time,are less of a concern than if they "suddenly become loners,"Wiener said.

"What we have to look at is the difference between an introvert versus someone who is withdrawn," said Wiener, adding that the latter involves a much more active avoidance and is a matter of degree and persistence.

Although not all introverts are loners, loners are likely to be introverts but both may be misunderstood in a culture that favours the gregarious and highly sociable.

Susan Cain, author of the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, explains that a half to one-third ofthe humanpopulationis more naturally introverted, even if they pretend they aren't.

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"The kids who prefer to go off by themselves or just to work alone, those kids are seen as outliers often or worse, as problem cases," she explained in a February lecture, qualifying that statement by saying most people fall somewhere along a spectrum between the two extremes.

For some people, Cain argues, solitude"is the air that they breathe."

This doesn't mean parents and teachers should not check in on young people who don't say much if they notice them behaving in ways that seem out of the ordinary.

Wiener notes that aconversationshould be had with young peoplewho refuse to be with others and who seem really bothered by having to work with them.

If a child or young personisolates themselves, rebuffs peers who approach them, doesn't seem to talk to anyone, doesn't have any close friends and has aggressive fantasies,Wiener says theremay be cause for concern.

The 'amazing' loner

Still, even if these red flags are present, Wiener notes, they do not mean a child will one day "erupt." Parents and teachers interested in checking in with quieter kids must make sure they are not pathologizing them.

"I really want to reiterate that we should not think that most people who are introverted are likely to create a major crime. It's extremely rare," she said.

'We should not jump at the assumption that there's something wrong with every kid that prefers to be alone.' Shelley Hymel, UBC professor of school psychology

Shelley Hymel, a professor at the University of British Columbia who studies child and social development, agrees that solitude, in and of itself, should not be viewed as a problem.

"In some cases it's healthy," she told CBC News, adding thatbeing aloneand reflecting iskey toidentity development. "Some of our loners are amazing."

Hymel points to luminaries that,by today's standards,would appear socially withdrawn, isolated or rejected people such as composer Ludwig van Beethoven, writer Rudyard Kipling, philosopherImmanuel Kant andphysicist Albert Einstein.

"We should not jump at the assumption that there's something wrong with every kid that prefers to be alone," she said.

In a peer-reviewed paper on the consequences ofchildhood rejection, Hymel and her co-authors note thata critical point is whether an individual chooses to be alone and uses thatalone timeconstructively and whether they have some affiliations and social ties.

"You'vegot toget into the kid's head," said Hymel, cautioning that the person who checks in has to be genuinely invested.

"You have to be real, and be there for them for a while. It's not something you can do in10 minutes, or on the fly."