4 Things To Remember When Potty Training Drives You Nuts

Why does potty training cause parents to lose their sh*t?

You would think there was a gold medal in it, or that university applications have a check box for "potty trained before two." The fact is, potty training is not worth stressing over. Children will be potty trained when they are ready.

Take it from me, I learned the hard way.

Remember, there are no awards for having your child potty trained before a certain age.

I rushed this process with my first child. I did what is commonly known as elimination communication, or infant potty training. What I know now is that I was only training myself. I would bring a potty with me everywhere and had myself on a timer. Every two to three hours, I would put my daughter on the potty. Sure, she peed in it, but that did not mean she was potty trained. If I didn't put her on the potty, she would not signal that she needed to pee.

My second child taught me that kids will be trained when they are ready and not a minute sooner. My son daytime trained himself by age two. I walked into the bathroom and saw him standing on a stool using the toilet the big-boy way. He had observed us, decided he was ready and acted on it. While he is still not nighttime trained at age five, I'm going to let his body decide when he is ready.

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Full disclosure: I was so clueless with my first child that I used to wake her up at night to pee when she was two-and-a-half years old. I'm pretty sure the only thing I did was ruin her good sleep habits and make both of us sleep deprived. Now I put bedwetting underwear on my five-year-old and let him sleep comfortably at night.

If you are stressed out over potty training, keep the following lessons that I wish I'd known in mind.

Motherhood is not a competition

Remember, there are no awards for having your child potty trained before a certain age. All you need to do is relax and read up on what to expect when potty training. Believe it or not, this is a natural process and your child should be displaying some signs of readiness before you start. And if you're unsure whether or not your child is ready, try this Potty Training Readiness quiz.

No one cares

This might sound harsh, but we tend to compare our children to others. The truth is that each of us is caught up in our own lives and our own stress. We don't care if your child isn't potty trained. Mom guilt already takes up so much space in our heads — don't think your child has to be potty trained just because your friend's child is.

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Bedwetting is common

Many children who are trained during the day still wet the bed at night — it's normal. Did you know that the bladder overproduces urine during sleep? According to the Canadian Paediatric Society, 10 to 15 per cent of kids still wet the bed at night at age five. With my second child, I learned that the best thing I can do is be supportive, monitor his fluid intake at nighttime and encourage him to use the toilet before going to bed. 

Again, there is no medal

We cannot spot the early potty-learners in the lineup at school and no one will ask on a first date what age you were trained. Is potty training really worth all the time and energy we put into it? I think not. Learn from my mistakes and give yourself a break.