Helping Your Kids Experience Gratitude During the Holidays

The word Santa brings a great deal of excitement in my family I recall one year we had a visit with Santa at my husband's work party. My three-year-old daughter was smitten with the friendly, robust man in his usual red suit. She danced in line, hardly able to wait to inform Santa that she wanted a (mini) trampoline for Christmas. She'd been talking about this trampoline since September and had practiced telling Santa. The company graciously gave Santa a gift for each child as an "early present". After the big visit, Lauren began opening her gift with trembling fingers. As she was unwrapping it, she could see it was a doll (a great doll I have to add), but she was frowning. She exclaimed, "But I TOLD him I wanted a trampoline!!!" Hmmm, bells were not ringing in celebration over gratefulness and appreciation.

What happened?

After explaining to her that it wasn't Christmas morning and reminding her how lucky she was to have this special gift, Lauren settled down and enjoyed the doll. While she could move on, I couldn't. What happened to the joy of receiving something new and special?

Understandably, she was only three and I suppose the disappointed response was age appropriate.... but at what point do you declare a child over-indulged? She unwrapped a super cool doll, not a box of crumbs.

This year, we've decided to not go "crazy" on gifts for our kids. Since they don't need anything, we're trying to celebrate the neat things they get to do like dance, swimming and gymnastic lessons. We're also making a point to donate to toy drives and charities and make the attempt to explain to our preschooler the importance of giving to the less fortunate.

Considering that none of us know what's on the horizon with the economy, we think it's important to teach our kids the value of recognizing and appreciating what we have. These are a few ways to encourage kids to have a more appreciative attitude this holiday season:
1. Don't go overboard when buying gifts. Buy a couple of things instead of loads. When kids get overwhelmed with presents the luster is lost and appreciation can decline. It's fun to take advantage of holiday sales and we love buying for everyone, but parents should hold back a bit.
2. Focus on giving instead of receiving. Instead of making a list for themselves, encourage your child to focus on making a list of things they would like to gift others.
3. Adopt a family for the holidays. Visit a local community organization or church that arranges to help families who can't afford a Christmas. Take your child shopping for their list and the reality that common everyday household items are on the 'gift list' will hit home to your kids.
4. Lead by example. Don't ask for huge gifts for yourself, remind your kids you just want a happy, healthy family and to be loved. Homemade gifts are the best, especially from children, so ask for homemade presents only and love each one with all your heart.
5. Be charitable and pass it on. Instead of giving friends and hosts bottles of wine or another holiday trinket, make a donation on their behalf to a charity. Your friend likely doesn't need another scented candle or Rudolph mug and would appreciate the lack of clutter in her house anyways.
6. Get out of the house and spend time together! Stuff doesn't matter as much as the time you spend with your family. Leave all the toys behind and head out for a walk, sled ride or a momstown event.