Boys Have Body Image Issues Too

In elementary school, I was the tall girl who always stood with the boys in the back row for class photos.

In junior high, I was the flat-chested girl.

And in high school I was the skinny girl.

Throw in a last name that sounds like a part of the male anatomy, and you have everything you need for a tease fest.

Positive body image is something I’ve always struggled with. The only reason I’m happy to be in my 40s is because I’ve finally learned to appreciate the body that I’ve been given.

"Only girls worry about those things, right?"

I’m still tall and thin, but I can still eat anything I want (so, to the girl who nicknamed me “Skeletor” — I’m definitely the master of my universe now!).

When we had our son, I was relieved we’d had a boy because my fear was having a girl and finding a way to give her a positive self image.

It seemed a daunting task since I’d taken so long to come to terms with my own figure.

And only girls worry about those things, right?

Absolutely not.

Chantal Saville had no idea who easy it could be to give a child body image issues.

Boys And Their Bodies

Boys worry, too. A lot.

It hit me like a ton of bricks when my then-five-year-old son was looking at his reflection in the mirror one day and asked, “Are my arms too skinny?”

I spoke to my husband about it, as he is equally tall and lean like I am, and he said that he, too, worried about his body image when he was younger.

I started doing research into the topic of boys and body image and was alarmed to discover that this is just as much of a problem for boys as it is for girls.

In some instances, it could be even more so, as boys can often be less likely to talk about their feelings and open up about their struggles.

"The road to being such 'manly men' can also lead to a rabbit hole of unhealthy eating and workout habits."

I then started reading about how depression in teens is on the rise.

And how prevalent eating disorders among teenagers can be.

While girls are inundated with polished, unrealistic images of women on social media, TV and in movies, boys are fed idealistic views of the male physique in advertising and entertainment mediums. Men are often depicted as very tall, lean and muscular, with pecs, bulging arms and six-packs.

The road to being such “manly men” can also lead to a rabbit hole of unhealthy eating and workout habits. Because many kids are seeking advice on the platforms they are on, like Instagram and TikTok.

It's a lot to absorb, especially if you're not tuned in to the differences between reality and what you see online.

Natalie Romero refuses to make her kids ashamed of their bodies, so their family lives in a naked house.

Ideals 

Often, the ideals we see represent a very small portion of what “everyday” men really look like. And a lot of the time there is no way of knowing if the body was maintained in a healthy way.

According to the government of Canada, 16 to 24 per cent of boys and 9 to 14 per cent of girls believed that their body was too thin. And only two-thirds (66 per cent of boys, 63 per cent of girls) of young people with a healthy weight felt that their body was about the right size.

I know as a parent it can feel discouraging, and even disheartening, to see boys struggle so much to love and accept their bodies. 

"I like to look at the things my son is great at and tell him things that will make him feel good about himself."

But I think there are many ways to encourage healthy body image habits. 

For me, my number one aim is to keep communication open, like I do with everything else.

Instead of focusing on physical attributes, I try to give compliments and positive reinforcement in other areas. I can talk about how kind, smart or well-spoken my son is. I like to look at the things my son is great at and tell him things that will make him feel good about himself.

Alicia McAuley writes about what motherhood has taught her about her plus-sized body.

Health and Wellness

Many people struggle with negative self-image. 

And as I've mentioned, it can be challenging to overcome. It was for me. 

So without framing it as weight loss, or a means to correct anything, I like to encourage we all stay active as a family. To get outside. This can be anything, like a walk for example, and I like to use these opportunities to bond and have important conversations about feeling good about yourself.

I try to get to the heart of the issue. What is he seeing that I'm not seeing? By having open conversations, it makes it easier for me to get into my son's head and potentially find ways to help.

I also think having routine active time with the family gives my son the opportunity to build self-confidence, because it gives him some time to realize he is taking some steps to take care of his body. 

There is also hygiene to talk about. As kids get older, they can get pretty relaxed about day-to-day hygiene, but growing bodies can sometimes benefit from a little care. So it's become a goal of mine to instill healthy hygiene habits, like washing our faces, putting on deodorant and showering when we need to.

But even with all of these strategies, I aim to give my son freedom. 

Because I want him to find his own sense of style, and feel comfortable with how he looks. I've always believed that when we are wearing what we want, it's a step toward feeling empowered. If that means he wears what I deem mismatched outfits, or an all-black uniform through his teen years, so be it. 

At the end of the day, I just want him to feel good about being himself. Whoever that is.