Im Not In A Hurry For My Kid To Graduate

Somewhere between the time I graduated high school and became a mom of a Grade 10 student, a year of high school in Canada vanished.

Where did it go?

I couldn’t find it anywhere. I didn’t even notice it was missing until just recently. It’s only on my radar now because suddenly I’m the mother of a teen who will (gulp) graduate in just over two years.

The reality of this is just hitting me. So is the fact that high school is now only four years.

Teenagers have so much ahead of them — but Craig Stephens has been left worrying that his stories of youthful adventure have convinced his daughter to drive to L.A. when she's 16.

From Five To Four

I came of age in the golden era of secondary school. It was a time when kids got a whole extra year of education. While I didn’t appreciate it then, I realize now how lucky I was to have the opportunity to go to Grade 13, or OAC (Ontario Academic Credit) as they called it back in my day in Ontario.

"They’re expected to grow up fast."

I had five whole years to gossip with friends on rotary phones, whine about math class, stick secret notes in lockers and have endless mind-blowing crushes followed by devastating heartbreaks. All while trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life.

Kids today aren’t nearly as fortunate. They’re expected to grow up fast. The fifth year of high school was cut as a cost-saving measure in Canada in the late '90s and early aughts. And while I’m sure some kids don’t like high school and benefit from less time there, I feel it’s too short for most students.

Starting Young After Years Of COVID

When my daughter finishes Grade 12 and goes off to university, she’ll only be 17. And to do that, she will have to make some pretty significant (and financially impactful) life decisions about her future at the tender age of 16.

Compound this with the fact that even though she’s almost halfway through her high school career, it feels like she just started. Only now are she and her peers able to do regular high school things after more than two years of COVID disruptions, virtual learning and cancelled extra-curricular activities.

"I would love to see her take more time at school to be a kid before making big decisions about life and moving on to the next exciting but more mature stage of life."

These important developmental years have been lost, and students will need time to catch up academically and emotionally. 

When I went to university, I was fortunate to be a little older than most other first years because I was a January baby. I recall witnessing many students struggle with mental health issues, substance abuse and a lack of academic readiness because they just weren’t mature enough to be away from home yet. I can’t help but wonder how many of today’s students will be ready to graduate after such a tumultuous time?

Today most high schools encourage students to complete their required 30 credits in four years. While students are allowed to take 34 credits if they wish, some school boards have economic disincentives for students who choose to do so.

We are lucky that my daughter’s school has a robust fifth-year option. It is an acceptable choice that many kids there take advantage of, and I hope she will too. I would love to see her take more time at school to be a kid before making big decisions about life and moving on to the next exciting but more mature stage of life.

The pandemic changed so much for students of every age. As Janice Quirt writes, middle school has become harder for kids like hers than it already was.

And let me state the obvious other reason I’m not in a hurry for my daughter to graduate: Maybe it's me who isn’t ready for my child to grow up and leave the nest. I’ll admit that’s probably true. I need more time and assurance that my daughter has had enough time to enjoy being a teenager before the demands of adulthood take over.

Ultimately it’s my daughter’s decision. Right now, she is really enjoying high school and thinks she will stay for five years, but that might change. And if it does, I’ll support whatever choice she makes.

We have a lifetime to be grown-ups. There’s only a short window to be a kid. I say hang on for as long as you can.