How I’m Balancing Kids and Caffeine and Culture

We were at a Thai restaurant the other day, and I’d ordered a Thai Iced Tea. As I swirled the concoction, ice cubes clinking, the condensed milk dissolving into the tea, my daughter Mallika asked if she could have a sip. My immediate reaction was to say no.

“Is it an adult only drink, like wine?” she asked.

“No, it’s not like wine, but kids don’t drink tea. When you’ve grown up a little bit, then you can have it.”

“Please, one sip? Just one sip,” the fine whine began, along with the saddest pair of eyes.

“Ok. One sip,” I finally gave in. Her eyes lit up when she took a sip, and she covered her mouth with her hands, like she’d partaken in some sort of secret rite. When she said she liked the drink, I assume she was talking about the intensely sweet flavour rather than the undertone of tea’s characteristic bitter brew.

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I am not sure when I started drinking tea. I remember when I was in Grade 1, the same age as Mallika, I had a small plastic green cup. Every morning, when my parents had their cup of tea, my mother gave us a concoction of doodh-chai, or milk-tea. She’d strained the milk through used tea leaves, giving the milk a bit of flavour. Occasionally, she would let me have a couple of sips of tea.

I’m pretty certain that by the time I was in my teens, I was having the odd cup of tea. It didn’t become a daily habit, however, until my later teens. It seemed so grown up to sit with my parents or aunts and uncles as they sipped their cups of chai. And I remember a number of long nights, preparing for final examinations, trying to keep awake with a cuppa.

Given that tea-drinking is such an integral part of the culture, children get introduced to it fairly early on.

For South Asians, tea, or chai, is more than a beverage. It’s a way of life. Every morning starts with a cup of it. The first question asked when family or friends come visiting is a simple “Chai?” 

Given that tea-drinking is such an integral part of the culture, children get introduced to it fairly early on. It may start off with mixing a bit of tea in milk at a younger age, with the tea-to-milk ratio changing as the child grows up. In other cultures, such as parts of Latin America, Scandinavia and even Europe, where coffee is part of their daily rituals, it isn’t uncommon to find children drinking a cup of coffee as part of their breakfast.

I assume my children will be drinking tea as some point. But I hope to try and delay it as much as possible. I recognize its addictive quality. I need a cup of tea to truly wake up, and am trying to wean myself from the habit of a second morning cup that I seem to have acquired in the last few months. I also know it stains teeth. Then there’s the sugar factor, as South Asians usually like to drink their tea on the sweeter side. But the most cause for concern is the caffeine, of course.

There are many reasons to avoid caffeine. It’s a natural occurring stimulant, but is considered a drug. It helps you keep alert, but it also increases heart rate and blood pressure and interferes with sleep. It can also cause agitation, stomach upset and heart palpitations.

But caffeine is also available in several other forms than tea or coffee. A 12-ounce can of cola can have 38 milligrams, a 18.5 ounce bottle of iced tea can have 60 mg and a 16 oz/grande of Starbucks hot chocolate contains 25 mg, according to a caffeine chart posted on the Centre of Science for Public Interest. According to a report published on the Canadian Pediatric Society website, Health Canada recommends “limiting ingestion of caffeine in children to 45 mg per day for 4–6 year olds, 62.5 mg per day for 7–9 year olds and 85 mg per day for 10–12 year olds.”

During a routine visit to my children’s pediatrician Till Davy, who also casts a very circumspect and patient eye on each of my unusual queries, I asked him what his recommendation was in the matter of giving tea to my children.

“Well, you can always give them caffeine-free tea. There are many delightful varieties available. It can be quite nice before going to bed. And it’s caffeine free, so you know they won’t be up at night,” he told me. There’s no way to know what the long-term effects of caffeine are. For some people, a shot of espresso is nothing. “Meanwhile, I will stay up for three nights,” he added. “Generally, I would say avoid it as much as you can.”

Fortunately, my children have managed to stay away from cola and other pops; they find the drinks “too weird and fizzy.” They enjoy the occasional treat of a chocolate milk or hot chocolate. Since neither my husband nor I drink other coffee-based desserts — because really how else do you explain the nutrient information of a frappuccino or an iced cappuccino — with any sense of regularity, we have managed to avoid our kids demanding one for themselves. The odd occasion that my husband indulges in an iced frappuccino or I give in to a Thai iced tea, we have been able to explain them as drinks for adults.

It seems the best way for me to avoid giving my children any caffeinated beverages is by limiting my own intake of them.