Using Emotional Freedom Techniques With a Daughter With Special Needs

I remember the excitement of being pregnant and daydreaming about the way we would raise Stephanie. She would sleep through the night, eat like a champ and excel in everything ... of course! Once she arrived, however, our expectations and parenting style immediately changed to match her special needs. Stephanie was born prematurely, and had some complications after birth. We weren't allowed to hold her or take her out of the incubator so we had to show her love in other ways. We quickly learned that touching her as often as we could, and talking to her, was the best way to let her know we were there. For three weeks, we talked to Stephanie about anything we could think of. We talked about family, who she looked like, what home was like, and we secretly whispered our dreams to her when the hospital ward was quiet. She responded to our voices so we kept talking; and we've never stopped.  

Stephanie is two and a half now, and understands very complex language. We've never used baby talk, and she doesn't use it, either. Now we tell her about the weather, what's for dinner, our plans for the day and why we are proud of her. We also tell her when we're worried about her health and use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to overcome stressful situations. EFT is a therapeutic activity where you tap pressure points with your fingers and say phrases that describe a problem. You repeat the phrases until the person experiencing the problem feels better. It has worked wonders in our house because it combines speech with relaxation. Stephanie responds well to EFT so we use it when she feels stress or anxiety. For example, bath time is a stressor for Stephanie. She dislikes the tub, and has a hard time relaxing in the water. To help her relax, we tap her (or ourselves) and talk about the negative emotions she is experiencing. This validates her emotions and lets her know that we are listening. Once we address the negative, we move on to positive thoughts. This allows Stephanie to process her emotions; even the bad ones, until the negative energy is released. Once her fears are addressed, she stops crying, relaxes and surrounds herself with positive energy. Before you know it, our happy girl has returned, and we actually enjoy bath time.

Tapping and talking has made a positive impact on our family. I've learned that the power of speech is an amazing tool with very young children. It lets them know that you value their emotions and makes them feel like a true part of your life. Hopefully, it will form the basis of an open relationship in her teenage years, but that's a whole different story! You can learn more about EFT at Wee Spirits Grow.

Beverley MacNeill lives in Oakville, Ontario, with her husband, daughter and two cats. Bev is a stay-at-home who relies heavily on humour to survive the challenges of raising a baby with special needs. Prior to motherhood, Bev worked as a technical writer in the financial services industry, and is a trained chef.