This Summer, My Husband Is The Stay-At-Home Parent For The First Time

When I first became a mother, I used to think I needed to be constantly available to my children in order to be a good parent. It wasn’t until my eldest was nine that I started working outside of parenting full-time.

Then in a turn of events that I never anticipated, my husband was laid off from his job of nine years, and I was quickly thrust into the role of sole earner in our household of five. Luckily, I work a wonderful job during the day that is flexible and has offered us financial security during these troubling economic times.

Quentin Janes is a stay-at-home dad who has had to deal with "gender-based" stereotypes when people find out what he does — here's how he's managed other's perceptions.

Instead Of Camp, It's The Summer Of Dad

Once my husband, Daniel, was laid off we decided that he’d spend the summer at home with the kids. Have you seen the price of camp lately? At a minimum of $200 per week, we were facing a $600 weekly camp bill. It was a no-brainer to opt out for this summer. Besides, Daniel needed time to reset after nine years at the same job, and the kids were eager to spend two whole months with their dad — a luxury they’ve never experienced.

In past summers I’ve been the full-time parent, arranging park play dates around nap schedules, driving out of town for fun day trips and making countless snacks throughout the day. I was excited that my husband would now get the chance to see what it’s like to spend a summer with three kids — who are now five, eight and 10.

"Our three girls are thrilled to have so much time with their dad, with zero interruptions or distractions."

We’re a little more than halfway through the summer (as of writing this), and my husband has already asked multiple times if we can enroll the kids in camp for a week.

Our house has become a place of complete chaos, made more overwhelming by the slew of kids that come over to play most days. I struggle to work from my home office without regular interruptions, and my kids are now all on a first-name basis with my co-workers. It hasn't been the most ideal summer, and it's proven to us that perhaps camp is worth the investment. 

However, I’ve also seen my husband step up in wonderful ways. He’s taken the kids on day trips, and most days I come downstairs and am shocked that the house hasn’t turned into a total pigsty. The kids have been helping out more too, with regular scheduled chores and the agreement that they’ll earn an allowance if they can keep up with our expectations.

Best of all: our three girls are thrilled to have so much time with their dad, with zero interruptions or distractions.

Brianna Bell recently joined the workforce and hopes to show her kids that they have options "even if that's finding yourself in the corporate world a decade after becoming a mother."

This Time Is Also Bringing Us Closer As Partners

Perhaps one of the more unexpected changes has been the closeness I have experienced with my partner. I assumed we would get on each other's nerves most days, but it turns out when you’ve lost your career and feel like you don’t have much beyond the people that live with you, it draws you closer together. Or at least, in our case it has.

"This summer we’ve spent more time dreaming of our future, comforting each other and sharing our hearts than we have in the last few years combined."

I appreciate Daniel more, and I find we make time for each other at the end of each day. It’s easy to be passing ships even when we’re under the same roof, but this summer we’ve spent more time dreaming of our future, comforting each other and sharing our hearts than we have in the last few years combined. I’ve learned that not only do I love my husband, I really like being with him.

We still have a few more weeks of summer, and I’m excited to see how Daniel tackles his final summer days as a stay-at-home dad. Soon the kids will be off to school every day, and he’ll be hopefully working full-time again.

But for now, you can find my husband riding bikes with our kids around the neighbourhood, eating sticky popsicles on the front porch and packing up the van with beach toys and towels for a fun day out. It’s an unexpected summer that we’ll never forget.