Kids Don’t Stay Kids Forever But It’s Not All Bad

The smell of Playdough was like a punch to the gut.

I was visiting a friend with a three-year-old.

The little one clamoured for Playdough, and when the can opened I immediately caught a whiff of its distinctive scent.

My eyes watered — I was feeling sentimental.

Because it’s been years since my kids gleefully created monsters, pizzas or castles from the stuff. And I miss it. I miss it bad.

This is shocking, because I never thought I would be nostalgic about all the little kid stuff. I was excited for them to grow up so that we could talk, share more enriching experiences and pursue adult activities. Now that this stage has arrived, I love it. And yet I still miss so many things from the early years.

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I miss the movies

Pixar, Disney — you name it, I was as excited as the kids. There’s something magical about a movie theatre, with the scent of popcorn and the dimming of the lights. I even bawled my eyes out on more than one occasion (Inside Out, I’m looking at you). It's really no wonder why my kids now catch a flick with their friends.

I miss the food

Sometimes for when they were sick, sometimes just when they were being picky, applesauce and animal cookies were a tried-and-true favourite. Often, the animal cookies were even dipped in applesauce. I don’t buy these items anymore, and frankly, I miss delighting in the various animal shapes. Unless I serve Zoodles for dinner, there’ s not enough fun in adult food.

I miss post-nap cuddles

The sensory immersion from these memories is particularly powerful. I miss going to pick my kids up from their cribs post-nap, still drowsy, and cuddling on the couch together. The stillness of those moments — no TV, no music — was utter perfection. Bundled in their super-soft grobags, head resting on my shoulder — I can’t think of a more perfect moment. And now they’re over, and my arms often feel empty these days.

I miss mom-and-baby play dates

I miss the camaraderie of parent-and-tot swimming, music groups and library story time. It was great when the parents stuck around and formed friendships, rather than the frantic drop-and-dash associated with current activities. Long stroller walks with friends and a coffee, and continued conversations over naptime were highlights of the week. Those were tough times, but the women I shared them with made it all possible and enjoyable.

While I miss these things, there are new experiences I look forward to.

I enjoy the real conversations

I love hearing my teens’ perspectives on the world, current events and ideas for their future. It’s thrilling. They’re funny and smart. And it’s really enjoyable talking to them.

I love having TV and movies in common

My daughter and I have the same favourite TV shows and books. Hanging with her is like being with a best friend. It’s amazing.

I like having a chance to miss them

As a mother to young kids, I was with them almost all the time. I never really had a chance to miss them. Now, when we’ve been apart, I truly enjoy the reunion. The catch-up is more significant. There’s less toil.

I like that they’re claiming identities

It is fascinating to see my kids start to figure out who they are and form their true selves. They are now separate from me, with their own unique personalities. And this gives me a chance to do the same, to figure out who I am now when my number one role is no longer one of mother, provider and protector. It is as scary and thrilling to watch in myself as it is to observe in my loved ones.

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The remembrance of times past even goes deeper, to my own childhood. While I am missing my kids’ early years, I am also reminded of my time growing up — an era of Block Parent signs in the window, discovering computers and VCRS, and tasting freedom via dinner at restaurants without our parents. That is so long ago now but the memories are still powerful.

So, in the end, from Playdough to Plato (actually, we’re not quite there yet), there’s always something amazing about being a parent. The trips down memory lane may have me reaching for the tissue box, but the pleasure is worth the pain. 

And I can always buy animal crackers for my own snack time. I might even share.