When Preschoolers and Video Chatting Meet

Skype, FaceTime, WhatsApp, and other video chat programs have had a huge impact on how families communicate. Especially when it comes to little ones, the benefits seem obvious—regular (and often free) face-to-face interactions between people who don’t always get to see each other.

In many respects, video chat programs seem custom-made for preschoolers. Most are simple to use, and adding the visual element can be super-exciting for kids who might be bored or unsure with traditional phones. Last year, the U.S. Association for Psychological Science (APS) held an informal study—nearly 90 percent of participating families used video-conferencing programs with their infants, and 43 percent used them at least once a week. Still, since the technology is so new, there’s no research on its long-term effects on children.

They clearly make the connection between speaking to my parents and maintaining the affection they build with them when they’re visiting.

The obvious benefit involves enabling kids to have better connection with long-distance relatives, and vice versa. Diala, a Toronto-area mother, says it has allowed her family in Lebanon, France and the United States to spend time with her three-year-old.

“My grandparents and most of my aunts and uncles have not met my son, but they already know him well,” she explains. “These family members have been able to ‘attend’ birthday parties, family celebrations, and other get-togethers more interactively thanks to these apps.”

For Nel, a Canadian ex-pat living in Australia, videochats help her two kids maintain a connection with her own parents back home. “The kids often take the iPad around to show them something in the house or in the yard; they’ll bring their toys into the shot so everyone can see what’s happening. They’re even quite keen on ‘giving hugs’ at the end of the conversation,” she says. “They clearly make the connection between speaking to my parents and maintaining the affection they build with them when they’re visiting here or we’re over there. And I like that the kids can actually see the life in Canada—they ask my mom to give tours of the house.”

It’s this visual component that makes video chatting so exciting for some kids. Christel, a Vancouverite who spends much of her time in Shanghai, uses her devices to stay in contact with eight nephews and nieces in Alberta, British Columbia and Switzerland.

“I remember we all hated being the one that answered the phone when our grandparents called because then we’d have to talk to them for a bit,” she says. “But my nieces and nephew love to talk on the phone. They want look outside, they always ask to see outside my window, or look around my apartment. They like it if I am eating at the same time as them—it’s like I’m eating with them. They also will ask to see things up close, like my eyes, in my mouth, or up my nose. They think it is so funny.”

Video chats mean more than a typical conversation—they’re a chance to show off artwork, dance moves, a new boo-boo, or that incisor that finally came in.

Of course, every family is different. Some kids are natural performers, while others get shy or apathetic in front of a screen, regardless of whose smiling face is on it. In some cases, scheduled video calls work best, and in others, a surprise ring is the best way to go. Either way, it’s good to not put pressure on your child to be a social butterfly.

Besides, the video chat isn’t always about putting on a show. For families where the parents have separated, using apps enable someone away from his or her child to feel more part of the daily, mundane routine. This also applies to temporary separations—from business-trip bedtime storytime to a quick “I love you; brush your teeth” when you’re at the office late.

Like virtually everything in parenting, there’s always concern about safety and security.

“When I was out camping with the kids last summer, we used Google Hangouts to see my husband, who was at home,” says Allison, an Edmonton mother of three. “The kids each got a few minutes to themselves with my iPhone each day to talk to Daddy. He missed them, so it was nice he could see them each night before bedtime.”

As the technology becomes more common, it also seems likely videochats could replace traditional phonecalls altogether. Chloe, a Toronto-area mom, has two kids who speak to their relatively close-by aunts and grandparents almost daily. Still, she wonders how her children will use these programs as they get older. Like virtually everything in parenting, there’s always concern about safety and security.

“My worries are more for the future, when we don’t always have direct supervision over them and who they speak to,” she says. “There will definitely be rules and restrictions on these kinds of the things as they get older.”

There are numerous steps parents can take to protect kids over video chat apps, ranging from blocking all unknown contacts to ensuring privacy settings prevent profile names and personal info from being shared over social media. Ultimately, it may make the most sense to supervise younger kids and then educate them as they grow older, rather than blocking off use.

After all, points out Ian, a Toronto father whose two kids use video calls to talk with family and friends, the technology is not going away.

“I’m thankful I can provide access to the devices that are a part of their world, and allow them to have access to important learning tools,” he says. “There is a strong likelihood they will be using these things throughout their entire lives—I’d better get them used to them now.”

Does your child video chat? What has been the impact on them and the rest of your family?