Whether By Bottle or By Breast, Fed is Best

Breastfeeding has become the norm for mothers of my generation. We aren't even supposed to question it anymore.

My son and I got the hang of breastfeeding quickly, and he gained four pounds in his first two months of life.

If you breastfeed, everybody knows you are giving your children their best start to life. Your milk is all they need, chock-full of antibodies and nutrients. If you choose to bottle feed, you’re made to feel like a selfish or lazy mother — even if you don’t have a choice and are simply unable to sustain your child on your breast milk alone.

But I had watched friends and family members struggle with breastfeeding and saw how they felt like they were letting their babies down. So when I was pregnant with my son, I was determined to be pragmatic and noncommittal about breastfeeding. I’d try it, I reasoned. But if I didn’t want to (or was unable to) continue, then that would be okay.

As it turned out, I was lucky. My son and I got the hang of breastfeeding quickly, and he gained four pounds in his first two months of life.

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But then, around five months of age, he stopped gaining weight as he should have. He went from the 80th percentile in weight to the 30th and then to the 10th by month seven. I knew that percentiles are to be taken with a grain of salt, but as I saw the line on his weight chart dropping off so drastically, I began to worry.

“Should I supplement?” I asked our family doctor when his weight first started to dive.

“No, no. It will sort itself out,” she told me.

Two months later, when he'd only gained four ounces, I again asked if I should supplement.

“If you want, but he’s started solids now, there’s likely no point,” was the reply.

I knew that percentiles are to be taken with a grain of salt, but as I saw the line on his weight chart dropping off so drastically, I began to worry.

It has now been nine months since my son’s weight percentile plummeted. That makes nine months during which I have been nearly constantly worried, and I wonder if I should have just gone ahead and introduced formula as a supplement for my son.

He was gaining a small amount of weight, so I know he wasn’t starving. But I can't help but wonder if the pressure to breastfeed influenced not only my choice to not introduce formula, but my doctor’s advice as well.

I finally did wean my son off breast milk and start him on formula three months ago when I went back to work just couldn’t pump enough milk for him. He's a big eater now and he’s doing so well; at some meals, he eats more than I do! At his recent 15-month appointment my worry was finally put at ease. His weight was back on track in the 70th percentile which makes me proud, even as I feel disappointed that I didn’t go with my gut instinct nine months ago.

So here’s my advice to new moms: fed is best, whether by breast, by pump or by bottle. Our job is to ensure our little ones grow and thrive and we have to remember to be our own champions and trust our instincts.