Should men have conversations about what masculinity means for them?

During our Cross Country Checkup discussion on sexual assaults on Canadian campuses, Jorge Requena of Winnipeg brought up the meaning of masculinity, and what it should mean for men today. Requena says society has created "an ideal" for what a man is, and that has resulted in rape culture. He suggests that children need to be educated early in their lives on what consent means, and that men and boys should have discussions on what it means to be a man today.

Listen to host Duncan McCue chat with Jorge:

Cross Country Checkup6:05September 18, 2016 - Jorge Requena

Jorge Requena of Winnipeg says society has created an ideal for what a man is, and that has resulted in rape culture.

Duncan McCue: What do you think of this topic of sexual assaults on campuses in Canada?

Jorge Requena: I think the problem is that by the time it gets to campus, it's already too late. By the time a sexual assault occurs, it's too late. I think that the problem is that there is a crisis in the identity of masculinity of males in our society. I think we've created an ideal for what a male is, an ideal for masculinity that is broken. And so, that is what's creating rape culture. I think we need to educate boys not to rape. We need to expand our cultural reach to teach all males in society not to rape.

DM: What is it that has you concerned, Jorge, that men and boys aren't getting the message?

JR: It takes a village to raise a child. Your parents are not only educating you morally and ethically. We're also being educated by advertising, television and film. Rape is not really the sort of thing that has been condemned in our society. And also, the idea of masculinity comes attached with the idea of what a woman is. We are also putting the onus on females to keep their guard up. We're saying, 'Well it's kind of YOUR fault because you didn't respond aggressively immediately.' Rather than, going back and saying, 'The moment you cross this boundary, you're crossing a boundary.'

DM: How do you get young boys and young men to take this conversation seriously and effectively?

JR: I think you educate parents first. I think there's this idea that parenting for males has become something that is not manly. It's more manly to shoot a gun than be a dad. It's more manly to shoot a gun than to change diapers. We need to train fathers to teach their kids to accept this model as something broken. The idea of masculinity is an option that we have. We need to create cultural entities that help males understand the world as it is and not the ideal of what masculinity is.

DM: There are university administrators right now who are struggling with how to deal with this. What advice would you give them about what they need to do in regards to changing the attitudes that exit?

JR: I think we have to question the model. We have to all get together as males to talk about it and get the manliest man to talk about it because they are the trendsetters and the leaders. We need some leaders in the movement to tell males that what they're seeing in advertising these people that are full of muscles and TV superheroes are fictitious people. I feel like that we need to teach that to boys very early on. And perhaps, universities can have a strategy where education also goes for children, grade schools and those in high schools.

Jorge Requena's and Duncan McCue's comments have been edited and condensed. This online segment was prepared by Samantha Lui.