10 Signs You Are A Hot Mess Mom

In the Websters Dictionary, under hot mess mom, you see my photograph. In it, Im disheveled and have a glass of wine in my hand. The other day I was standing at the bank and this mom claimed to be a hot mess. I kind of rolled my eyes because she was fully clothed in pants with a button, her hair was done, and her kids calmly stood next to her looking like they stepped out of a gap catalog. So it got me thinking, what really qualifies you as a hot mess.

10 SIGNS YOU ARE A HOT MESS MOM

You praised God when the messy bun came into style because its the only hairdo you know. Any day I go out without vomit in my hair is a win.

On more than one occasion you have found yourself standing in front of the milk (organic of course because you knowmom guilt) in your grocery store and notice you either a) wore your slippers or b) have two different shoes on.

If you have intentions of being a Pinterest mom, but that usually expands your childs vocab by 5 cuss words. For real, screw you paper mache.

People have learned to tell you the scheduled time is 30 minutes before it actually is, and you are still late. Seriously though kids dont run on the same clock as adults. I havent arrived anywhere less than 15 minutes late in 4 years.

You tell what day of the week it is by what shows your DVR is set to record. Wednesdays are no longers Wednesday, instead, it is now known as SVU night.

Your local barista knows by the circles under your eyes how many extra shots they need to add in. Also, they sympathetically hand you a cake pop.

You get 100 likes on a Facebook post, not because people actually like you, but you make them feel like they are crushing this mom thing.

You consider goldfish and cheese sticks a balanced diet.

You will start cooking dinner or any task then 100% forget about it until your husband yells in a panic that your soup boiled all over the floor.

It takes a solid 15 minutes of thinking to remember when you showered and applied makeup last. Or more importantly showered alone without a toddler trying to join.

THERE YOU HAVE IT

There is no shame in my hot mess mom game, how about you? Are you part of my tribe or do you have your crap together? If you do can you teach me?