The 'Barbie' Movie Is Ending Relationships Left And Right

Warning: Spoilers ahead for Barbie. 

Come on, Barbie, lets go break up with our boyfriends. 

More than a week after the release of the Barbie movie, social media is full of stories of women who say they deeply reconsidered their relationships after seeing the film, which has grossed more than $775 million globally so far.

AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend over the Barbie movie? one woman asked on the popular Am I the Asshole subreddit , before sharing the story of how her boyfriend complained to her about the movies feminist themes after they left the showing.

On TikTok, another woman said  the Mattel movie inspired her to break up with her boyfriend after a string of bad behavior on his part: Thank you, Barbie for empowering me, for giving me the confidence, for making me realize I deserve better. 

Theresa Arzate, 27, of Dallas, shared on Twitter that her ex-boyfriends reaction in the theater was just the push she needed to call it quits .

Hes a good guy, she told HuffPost, but they were having issues long before seeing the movie. Their lived experiences are pretty different, and the Barbie movie highlighted just how differently they view the world. 

I was so invested in the movie that I really didnt even recognize how he was perceiving it until he asked, Are you crying? two or three times throughout, Arzate told HuffPost. 

After the movie, we amicably came together to recognize that were just not on the same wavelength, she explained. We could argue till the end of time what gender/sex has a tougher time going through life. 

Barbie has helped me graduate out of a cycle of overextending myself into spaces or around people I dont truly resonate with, to get myself back to discovering what I want out of life, she said.

Elsewhere on TikTok, women are sharing how they plan to use what did you think of Barbie? as a litmus test for dating. (It should be noted, plenty of men passed the test easily, dressing up in pink for the movie, or sympathizing with their girlfriends or wives after seeing it.)

If you go see it with a guy who says, Ken did nothing wrong, patriarchy [is] good, then you need to get rid of him, Megan The Fangirl Gotham said on TikTok.  [Director Greta Gerwig is] trying to save us all, through Barbie! 

Melanie Butler, a 27-year-old from Florida, also posted on TikTok about how she hopes straight women use the movie to get a read on the men theyre seeing. (She recommends Gone Girl for this as well.)

Barbie teaches us to empathize with other people as well as ourselves; if someone is able to express how the movie made them feel rather than just surface-level themes, it shows they can recognize their own feelings and communicate them, Butler told HuffPost.

Many women have said how heartening it is to see their experiences reflected on the big screen: They relate to America Ferreras impassioned monologue  about how impossible it is to be a woman (you have to be skinny, but you cant say youre skinny, you have to say youre healthy; you have to strive to be successful, but you cant be mean), for instance, or how quick Barbie (as played by Margot Robbie) is to apologize  to everyone around her.

Not all are feeling the love, however. Barbie has thoroughly entered the culture wars and has its share of male detractors. One critic on Twitter  called it a two-hour woke-a-thon full of nuclear-level rage against men.

Some conservative pundits , Ben Shapiro and Piers Morgan  among them, arent fond of the movie. Shapiro said the movie, which indeed includes ample commentary on feminism and the patriarchy, divides men and women. Shapiro set fire  to some Barbies in reaction to the film which he called flaming garbage and woke. 

That defensive reaction is what caused Gotham to post about the litmus test on TikTok. 

I think when someone tells you who they are, even if its through a movie review, believe them, Gotham said. I saw this as someone who was married for 15 years: These kinds of core beliefs dont change or get better over time, so if you can learn about someone youre dating from something as trivial as the Barbie movie, take the lesson!

The judgment goes both ways, though. Online, theres also been stories of single men who consider liking Barbie a dealbreaker.

Allison Panetta recently was unmatched on Hinge after she told a guy that Barbie is an experience and Oppenheimer is just a film.

I dont think every man needs to be as excited or want to see Barbie as much as their partners, but I think a guy should be able to set aside two hours to see a movie thats important or exciting to whoever theyre dating without putting it down or complaining about it, Panetta told HuffPost.

I do think if a guy has a strong negative reaction to just the idea of seeing the movie or feminine interests then that is a red flag, she said. 

Nicholas Balaisis, a psychotherapist in Ontario, Canada, who wrote about Barbies nuanced portrayal of masculinity  for Psychology Today, wouldnt necessarily advise singles to use the film for a litmus test, per se. Still, he does think a mans reaction to Barbie is a good way to engage a guy in a conversation about their discomforts.

It might be interesting to explore why they are upset, offended, he told HuffPost. You can use it as a way into an honest conversation about gender and romantic desires. An outright refusal to engage in this way might indicate a lack of emotional maturity and may be a sign that the person is not yet ready for a real relationship.

Allie Fridstein, a mental health counselor in Columbus, Ohio, agrees. While nobody needs to enjoy the exact same entertainment as you, its reasonable to expect basic respect and decency from a romantic partner in the way they talk about things that emotionally affect you. 

There is a significant difference between, I didnt like the movie but Im glad you enjoyed it vs. I hated it because it was woke garbage, she said. 

Fridsteins boyfriend, for instance, had a lukewarm review of the film, which he saw with her and a bunch of their friends.

He told me he thought it was hilarious that the Kens didnt have actual jobs but titles such as beach or horse, and he even noted how in many movies the protagonists wife-girlfriend has zero character development outside what serves the protagonist, she said.

Ultimately, he didnt love the movie because some of it was too absurdist for his taste, she said, but he didnt have to rave about it in order to show respect and not rain on others parade.

Women are also applauding Gerwig for getting so much right about straight relationship dynamics.

Other women who saw the movie gave props to director Greta Gerwig for capturing so many real experiences of women dating or in relationships: having to sit through The Godfather trilogy while your new boyfriend offers armchair commentary, for instance, or ending up as someones long-term long-distance low-commitment casual girlfriend, the romantic proposition Ken makes to Barbie after he brings patriarchy to Barbieland. 

Jessica, a 25-year-old from Tennessee who asked to use her first name only for privacy, related to the moment when Barbie wants to apologize to Ken for not reciprocating his feelings even after he steals her house and takes away her power.

During her divorce, Jessica said she was overly apologetic for abandoning their marriage, even after learning her husband had been cheating on her for the majority of their six-year relationship.

I even asked him, Are you mad at me? Jessica told HuffPost. Its astonishing to me how women are so apologetic, empathetic and introspective even after their partner hurt them in the worst ways, and Im glad they got that in the movie.

Some men are also thinking critically about their relationships as a result of the movie. 

In Barbie, the way Ken navigates his relationship is interrogated even more than how Barbie behaves.

Barbie has a great day every day. Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him, Helen Mirrens narrator says, summing up how Ken has built his whole life and self-identity around his would-be girlfriend. His whole narrative arc is learning that hes Kenough, not just a plus-one whose only value lies in his sexual-romantic worth .

In a Reddit thread that went viral, one viewer detailed how the movie led him to break up with his girlfriend , after he realized he needed to be less dependent on his girlfriend for validation, just like Ken.

Believe it or not, this realization shook me, he wrote. I had been clinging to the comfort and support she provided, blind to the mounting issues.

Theres other takeaways for men in the movie, too. As many critics have noted , Barbie is just as concerned with the ways the patriarchy and the toxic masculinity imported into Barbieland harms men as much as it does women. (As Noor Noman noted in an MSNBC column, its all very bell hooks-ian .)

Ken has to experience patriarchy before realizing that strong and silent isnt the only emotional note he can play (the guy really earned that cathartic cry at the end). Ultimately, he learns that value isnt defined by his status or his purchasing power, but by who he is at his core, as a person. 

I think the film is ultimately very empathetic to men and male challenges rather than a criticism of men, said Balaisis, the male psychotherapist who wrote about Barbie for Psychology Today.

For instance, at their core, most men want attachment to other humans love, connection, security, recognition just like women do.

What the movie shows is how these human needs get miscommunicated by men often because men havent been socialized to identify their own needs, or communicate them honestly with women, Balaisis said. 

When these efforts arent successful, it can lead to shame, anger and acting out in ways that Gerwig shows: hyper-masculine aggression, dominance and stereotypical behavior, like retreating to a beer fridge in a man cave. (In Kens case, his Mojo Dojo Casa House.)

I think any man would admit that having a close and romantic relationship is far better than a man cave, but a relationship takes risk, honesty and vulnerability, Balaisis said.

Arzate, one of the women who split from her boyfriend after Barbie, also doesnt believe the movie is anti-men, as some bad-faith reviews have suggested. 

I think its guiding some people out of or away from their romantic interests or relationships, but not out of hatred or spite, she explained. Its helping demonstrate that people can be more than the roles society has forced on them.

If you want to be a parent, a spouse, an astronaut, president, or just beach, your dreams are waiting for you, so go pursue them, with or without that guy or person you begged to go watch the movie with you, Arzate said.