As I move onto writing the next chapter in the book that is my life, I choose to go into this adventure sans children, and I dont feel guilty about it.

When my brother announced to our family that his girlfriend was pregnant two years ago I was extremely happy for him. He has always wanted to be a father and there was no doubt that parenthood would suit him. Honestly, I was also thrilled because it took the pressure off me for a little while. That may sound silly, even selfish for me to admit, but think about it my parents have a grandson to spoil, their hands are full. No time to worry what I was doing, or not doing.

At the time of my brothers news I was the only engaged sibling in my intermediate family, the eldest of three children, Maltese in heritage and female. This meant my life came with a few expectations I was the getting married in five months so I should be planning to start family or at least keen on having kids. If you follow the traditional family rule book, those are the steps. I was questioned a few times, even by my brother as to when Ivan and I are starting a family. The answer was and still is no, Im not planning a family anytime soon. At first I hesitated and laughed off such questions as I didnt want to offend my parents. However recently I started to reply truthfully with a straight, not interested right now, maybe never out loud. I couldnt believe I actually said it to them, but the more I started to answer this way, the more right it felt for me and it taught me that speaking out about what I wanted was okay.

Aside from the fact that I believe that this society is a strange place to be raising children right now and that the world is overpopulated enough without my contribution, there are a number of other reasons for my decision. It has nothing to do with other people, it is all about me.