The hot topic in marriage therapists offices right now? Emotional labor .
The last few years, a number of viral essays and Facebook posts have highlighted the trouble with emotional labor, or the weight and effort of managing nearly everything at home especially the seemingly invisible jobs no one else seems to track or recognize.
Its tasks like scheduling doctors appointments, making sure the kids lunches are packed, helping them with homework assignments and navigating emotional crises (everyone elses, as well as your own). Originally, the term was applied to workplace interactions, but its recently been used for housework and parenting tasks , too.
Unfortunately, the invisible work of running a household and raising the kids disproportionately falls on womens shoulders. And in many cases, its on top of their day-to-day responsibilities at work.
Now that theres a catch-all phrase for this work, spouses wives in particular are more prone to talk about it. Kurt Smith and other therapists HuffPost interviewed for this piece said the emotional labor divide is brought up most by heterosexual couples.
Im regularly addressing this problem with partners, said Smith, a couples therapist in Roseville, California. When I ask them if theyve had a discussion about the roles each is taking on and how theyll split up the household responsibilities, I almost always get a no.
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