Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X , the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
My 6yo has a plan to earn money for a playstation
Step 1. Find a huge diamond
My 6yo has a plan to earn money for a playstation
meghan (@deloisivete) June 4, 2024
Step 1. Find a huge diamond
Sometimes people without kids see a mom out with her kids and are like wow she makes that look easy but not me. I come to your cookout with my children and make you say oh my GOD we are never having children
Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 2, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Lucy Huber","author_url":"https://twitter.com/clhubes","cache_age":86400,"description":"Sometimes people without kids see a mom out with her kids and are like wow she makes that look easy but not me. 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I come to your cookout with my children and make you say oh my GOD we are never having children
Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 2, 2024
With two weeks left of school, I decided to let the kids sit wherever they want.
The boys put all their desks in one big group and named it Fart Island.
The girls made a similar group and named it The Tortured Poets Department.
With two weeks left of school, I decided to let the kids sit wherever they want.
KD (@kdnerak33) June 3, 2024
The boys put all their desks in one big group and named it Fart Island.
The girls made a similar group and named it The Tortured Poets Department.
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Should I be disturbed by the way my 8-year-old daughter plays doctor? I was her patient today, and she just made me fill out forms the whole time.
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I was her patient today, and she just made me fill out forms the whole time.
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Was struggling with getting my daughter ready this morning she was catching an attitude, moving slower, and just overall mad she had to wake up. Do you know I said to myself motherhood is so hard she gon say I have 6 babies and I do it everyday so I know talking about them
Kira J (@IamKiraJ) June 5, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Kira J","author_url":"https://twitter.com/IamKiraJ","cache_age":86400,"description":"Was struggling with getting my daughter ready this morning she was catching an attitude, moving slower, and just overall mad she had to wake up. 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Do you know I said to myself motherhood is so hard she gon say I have 6 babies and I do it everyday so I know talking about them
Kira J (@IamKiraJ) June 5, 2024
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telling my baby at 2 am that I simply cannot engage in care work right now & I hope he seeks care from someone hes been a more consistent sleeper with
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Mac Crane they/them (@mcrane_12) June 6, 2024
School spirit days are made up holidays invented to keep Amazon Prime in business
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Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) June 4, 2024
Advertisement
I'm glad my kids summer camp list of what not to pack had \"alcohol\" on there because I almost packed him a 6 pack of beer. Whew.
Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 6, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Dadman Walking","author_url":"https://twitter.com/dadmann_walking","cache_age":86400,"description":"I'm glad my kids summer camp list of what not to pack had \"alcohol\" on there because I almost packed him a 6 pack of beer. Whew. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 6, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Dadman Walking on Twitter / 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Whew.
Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 6, 2024
6yo: How did you get mommy to date you?
Me: Because Im charming.
6yo: Oh really? She said it was because you were the least annoying.
6yo: How did you get mommy to date you?
My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) June 5, 2024
Me: Because Im charming.
6yo: Oh really? She said it was because you were the least annoying.
When I was a teenager my mom had a little mini candy stash at the very top of a cupboard that was Just For Mom and no one else was allowed to touch it and internally I was like \"wow selfish much?\" and anyway now I get it
Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) June 3, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Amy Colleen","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sewistwrites","cache_age":86400,"description":"When I was a teenager my mom had a little mini candy stash at the very top of a cupboard that was Just For Mom and no one else was allowed to touch it and internally I was like \"wow selfish much?\" and anyway now I get it Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) June 3, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Amy Colleen on Twitter / 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Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) June 3, 2024
Things my daughter called to talk to me about this week:
- chickens are mean
- 1+1 should equal 11
- if she was an author there would be more scary stories with cats
Things my daughter called to talk to me about this week:
Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 2, 2024
- chickens are mean
- 1+1 should equal 11
- if she was an author there would be more scary stories with cats
Advertisement
The best part of Fathers Day coming up is not having to worry about forgetting Mothers Day.
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Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 1, 2024
the other day i was sitting in a coffee shop and started chatting with a woman & we figured out our kids attend the same preschool. i was really tired and accidentally said something over-sharey and unfiltered and she immediately sat down and we talked for 3 hours straight.
emily may (@emilykmay) June 2, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"emily may","author_url":"https://twitter.com/emilykmay","cache_age":86400,"description":"the other day i was sitting in a coffee shop and started chatting with a woman & we figured out our kids attend the same preschool. i was really tired and accidentally said something over-sharey and unfiltered and she immediately sat down and we talked for 3 hours straight. emily may (@emilykmay) June 2, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"emily may on Twitter / 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emily may (@emilykmay) June 2, 2024
My daughter asked, Do you ever have any regrets, Mom? And while I know she was asking this question on a philosophical level, my mind immediately went to this puffin sweater I saw in Iceland.
Its been 3 years since I saw it in a shop there, & I still regret not buying it. pic.twitter.com/pnkVePdmaB
My daughter asked, Do you ever have any regrets, Mom? And while I know she was asking this question on a philosophical level, my mind immediately went to this puffin sweater I saw in Iceland.
Celia (@CeliaBedelia) June 2, 2024
Its been 3 years since I saw it in a shop there, & I still regret not buying it. pic.twitter.com/pnkVePdmaB
explain why when nothings going on my baby naps for 3 hours but when i need to work its 30 mins max
amil (@amil) June 3, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"amil","author_url":"https://twitter.com/amil","cache_age":86400,"description":"explain why when nothings going on my baby naps for 3 hours but when i need to work its 30 mins max amil (@amil) June 3, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"amil on Twitter / 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parenting tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/best-parenting-tweets","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets"},"department":{"name":"Life","slug":"lifestyle"},"section":{"title":"Parenting","slug":"parents"},"topic":{"title":"Best Parenting Tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/life/topic/best-parenting-tweets"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">explain why when nothings going on my baby naps for 3 hours but when i need to work its 30 mins max
amil (@amil) June 3, 2024
Advertisement
[6 AM]
Child [coming out of bedroom]: Is an orange named after the color or is the color named after the fruit?
Me [rubbing temples]: it is way too early for this
[6 AM]
Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 5, 2024
Child [coming out of bedroom]: Is an orange named after the color or is the color named after the fruit?
Me [rubbing temples]: it is way too early for this
My kids said they wanted to try something new this summer so I showed them how to vacuum & do laundry.
Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 1, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Sarcastic Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sarcasticmommy4","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kids said they wanted to try something new this summer so I showed them how to vacuum & do laundry. 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Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 1, 2024
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My kids have fun at school but the actual act of getting ready and going? They curse it with the heat of a thousand suns.
MonsterKing (@CerromeRussell) June 6, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"MonsterKing","author_url":"https://twitter.com/CerromeRussell","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kids have fun at school but the actual act of getting ready and going? They curse it with the heat of a thousand suns. 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parenting tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/best-parenting-tweets","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets"},"department":{"name":"Life","slug":"lifestyle"},"section":{"title":"Parenting","slug":"parents"},"topic":{"title":"Best Parenting Tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/life/topic/best-parenting-tweets"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My kids have fun at school but the actual act of getting ready and going? They curse it with the heat of a thousand suns.
MonsterKing (@CerromeRussell) June 6, 2024
My son turns 15 next week and I told him we should open presents at 2:12 pm because thats when he was born and he said, Thats a weird thing to keep in your memories but.whatever.
Have kids. Theyre a delight.
My son turns 15 next week and I told him we should open presents at 2:12 pm because thats when he was born and he said, Thats a weird thing to keep in your memories but.whatever.
Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) June 6, 2024
Have kids. Theyre a delight.
Advertisement
My 5yo: WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE A SINGER AND A DANCER AND A MUSICIAN AND A VETERINARIAN AND A PASTOR AND A TEACHER
Me: Wow! Youd be so good at
5: I WASNT DONE
My 5yo: WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE A SINGER AND A DANCER AND A MUSICIAN AND A VETERINARIAN AND A PASTOR AND A TEACHER
Courtney Ellis (@courtneyellis) June 3, 2024
Me: Wow! Youd be so good at
5: I WASNT DONE
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