My 6yo told me there's a kid called Mirror in his new class, and I'm not sure if he misheard or that's just where we are with names now

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My 17mo insisted her baby needed her own horse in the carousel. pic.twitter.com/ISmKxpCAjP

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A rival dad told me one of my tires looked low in front of some other dads so I pressure washed a small but visible corner of his driveway to show him what it could look like.

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My 17 year old is in Germany for a month and my 12 year old just asked if we can repaint the upstairs and when he gets home pretend its always been that way and I was like, I love you, you are evil and brilliant, and also for reference, this is a literal example of gaslighting.

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Found the JanSport backpack that I had in college and it was still in pretty good shape so I gave it to my daughter and she had the nerve to ask why it doesn't have a laptop sleeve

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My toddler threw a tantrum after I made him breakfast. Couldnt figure out how to stop it then my wife comes over and makes him stop crying by moving the milk bottle from the left side of his breakfast plate to the right.

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Instead of happy birthday my kids sang skibbidy toilet rizz to you and the fact that Im touched shows you my head space.

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My 3 year old told me that when she was in my belly, she had toys to play with....and the toys are still in there.

So that's terrible news.

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my 9yo: does your friend Scott know that he could just spell his name with one t and it would sound exactly the same?

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Me *2 PM*: Lets go kids, we dont want to miss a second of this vacation!

Me *6 AM*: This is not what I meant, go back to bed!

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Im just a mom
standing in front of her kids
repeating skibidi rizz toilet
because I have no idea what it means

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My family went camping & left me home alone, like I'd be missing out.

Oh please, don't leave me home with electricity & running water.

Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 5, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Sarcastic Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sarcasticmommy4","cache_age":86400,"description":"My family went camping & left me home alone, like I'd be missing out. Oh please, don't leave me home with electricity & running water. 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My teen is on her 3rd time through the entire Gilmore Girls series. Every now and then I just walk through the room and say I cant believe she did that and she says I know, right?!?

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Someone stop me from eating the same junk food that I just stopped my kid from eating.

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Ive reached the part of my summer where Im excited that Ill soon be able to stop checking my kidss heads for ticks and go back to just checking for lice

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Few things bring joy to a dads heart like seeing his daughter participate in the time-honored tradition of wearing her softball glove like a hat

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The Steeplechase, but it's just me going around the house jumping over piles of stuff and stepping in a puddle of water my 7yo spilled.

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I got so tired of my daughter saying period I started replying with exclamation point and she stopped saying it. Follow me for more parenting tips.

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Had dinner with a family who limits their kids TV and sugar consumption and after they left my 4yo son rolled into the kitchen on his scooter and said I eat a million ice creams and watch a million things on TV. Its the only thing I love. then rolled away.

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My child said she wanted to be like me so she put my glasses on top of her head and walked around saying where are my glasses?! I feel attacked

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I told my 7yo my feet tired. He gone ask is that why theyre ashy.

I dont need this. pic.twitter.com/QgNntVPPjJ

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We have 2 muffins left and all 3 kids want one, so I said everyone could have 2/3 a muffin. 4yo doesn't want to share so she said she's not having one, which means the older kids can have their own muffin. Now that everyone's getting their own muffin, she wants a muffin again but

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