Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X , the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
13yo asked for a bulletin board and I assumed it was for, like, school things, so I got him one while he was at camp. He came back, saw it, and said oh great, I can use that to keep track of my conspiracy theories. Im going to need some red string.
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Anne Thriault (@anne_theriault) August 13, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Anne Thriault on Twitter / 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He came back, saw it, and said oh great, I can use that to keep track of my conspiracy theories. Im going to need some red string.
Anne Thriault (@anne_theriault) August 13, 2024
I burned my son waffle just a lil bit and every 2 mins he holds it up to me saying look .. i see it goddammit
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$tu. (@_OgStu) August 13, 2024
Mommy you need on your cute shirt. That shirt is not cute - a 3 yo with her sandals on the wrong feet
Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting (@themultiplemom) August 12, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting","author_url":"https://twitter.com/themultiplemom","cache_age":86400,"description":"Mommy you need on your cute shirt. 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That shirt is not cute - a 3 yo with her sandals on the wrong feet
Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting (@themultiplemom) August 12, 2024
I try to ask my child questions instead of directly telling him things. I guess he's picked up on it because yesterday a little voice from the back asked me \"mama, what is the speed limit here?\" and when I failed to take action he followed up patiently, \"is 68 bigger than 65?\"
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I guess he's picked up on it because yesterday a little voice from the back asked me \"mama, what is the speed limit here?\" and when I failed to take action he followed up patiently, \"is 68 bigger than 65?\" Adriana Porter Felt (@__apf__) August 12, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Adriana Porter Felt on Twitter / 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I guess he's picked up on it because yesterday a little voice from the back asked me "mama, what is the speed limit here?" and when I failed to take action he followed up patiently, "is 68 bigger than 65?"
Adriana Porter Felt (@__apf__) August 12, 2024
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I know kids process grief and death differently and oh boy do I hope everyone who heard my 3yo yelling we will never see grandpa again! He is not going to come back! From the swingset at the park last night also knows this
girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) August 12, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"girl fieri","author_url":"https://twitter.com/realgirl_fieri","cache_age":86400,"description":"I know kids process grief and death differently and oh boy do I hope everyone who heard my 3yo yelling we will never see grandpa again! He is not going to come back! From the swingset at the park last night also knows this girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) August 12, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"girl fieri on Twitter / 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He is not going to come back! From the swingset at the park last night also knows this
girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) August 12, 2024
My kid getting ready to step on my last nerve pic.twitter.com/HcbbiQMXif
meghan (@deloisivete) August 10, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"meghan","author_url":"https://twitter.com/deloisivete","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kid getting ready to step on my last nerve pic.twitter.com/HcbbiQMXif meghan (@deloisivete) August 10, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"meghan on Twitter / 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meghan (@deloisivete) August 10, 2024
My number one tip for parenting a wild and unruly preschooler is to dress them as adorably as possible, lean into the overalls, if they will wear a cape or cat ears even better. Harder for people (including yourself) to get mad at a kid in cat ears
sarah (@sarahradz_) August 14, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"sarah","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sarahradz_","cache_age":86400,"description":"My number one tip for parenting a wild and unruly preschooler is to dress them as adorably as possible, lean into the overalls, if they will wear a cape or cat ears even better. Harder for people (including yourself) to get mad at a kid in cat ears sarah (@sarahradz_) August 14, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"sarah on Twitter / 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Harder for people (including yourself) to get mad at a kid in cat ears
sarah (@sarahradz_) August 14, 2024
Advertisement
My 9yo freaked that her t-shirt had a crease in it and wanted it ironed so what Im saying is pick your partners carefully because sometimes you give birth to them
I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 12, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"I Hide From My Kids","author_url":"https://twitter.com/IHideFromMyKids","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 9yo freaked that her t-shirt had a crease in it and wanted it ironed so what Im saying is pick your partners carefully because sometimes you give birth to them I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 12, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"I Hide From My Kids on Twitter / 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I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 12, 2024
my daughter just announced to me her favorite subject is math & I'm totally aghast.
girl, there are not FIVE degrees in English literature between your parents for you to like math. please.
my daughter just announced to me her favorite subject is math & I'm totally aghast.
Alicia Andrzejewski, PhD, she/her (@aliciaandrz) August 14, 2024
girl, there are not FIVE degrees in English literature between your parents for you to like math. please.
I tell the kids that if they ever get lost to just find an Amazon truck and follow it because there's a pretty good chance it's coming to our house.
Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 15, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Rodney Lacroix","author_url":"https://twitter.com/RodLacroix","cache_age":86400,"description":"I tell the kids that if they ever get lost to just find an Amazon truck and follow it because there's a pretty good chance it's coming to our house. 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Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 15, 2024
My 9yo wanted to be a doctor but now he wants to be an Australian breakdancer. Thanks, Olympics.
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Thanks, Olympics.
Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) August 12, 2024
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my 10 year old son is about to start trombone lessons this year at school.
his band teacher's intro email has me howling! pic.twitter.com/4o2XSQKF7v
my 10 year old son is about to start trombone lessons this year at school.
bonky (@shesbonky) August 15, 2024
his band teacher's intro email has me howling! pic.twitter.com/4o2XSQKF7v
I dont really ever worry about being kidnapped because my 6yo would just find me and ask for a snack.
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Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) August 12, 2024
If you are a parent of a child under 3, this is like Pacino and De Niro doing Heat. https://t.co/gSOEhedEI2
Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) August 14, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Mike Beauvais","author_url":"https://twitter.com/MikeBeauvais","cache_age":86400,"description":"If you are a parent of a child under 3, this is like Pacino and De Niro doing Heat. https://t.co/gSOEhedEI2 Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) August 14, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Mike Beauvais on Twitter / 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Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) August 14, 2024
When my kid was 3 it was endless tantrums and now hes 4 and its endless arguing. Honestly not sure which is worse??? I cant spend all day arguing with the smallest lawyer in history, Im too dumb
Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 15, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Lucy Huber","author_url":"https://twitter.com/clhubes","cache_age":86400,"description":"When my kid was 3 it was endless tantrums and now hes 4 and its endless arguing. Honestly not sure which is worse??? 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Honestly not sure which is worse??? I cant spend all day arguing with the smallest lawyer in history, Im too dumb
Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 15, 2024
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I regret to inform you my family benefits greatly from being on vacation and therefore I will be withdrawing from all other life responsibilities from this day forth kthxbye
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 11, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"That Mom Tho","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mom_tho","cache_age":86400,"description":"I regret to inform you my family benefits greatly from being on vacation and therefore I will be withdrawing from all other life responsibilities from this day forth kthxbye That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 11, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"That Mom Tho on Twitter / 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That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 11, 2024
Trying to decide on a school portrait package thats somewhere between I care but I dont need my sons face on a kitchen towel.
Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 16, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Sarcastic Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sarcasticmommy4","cache_age":86400,"description":"Trying to decide on a school portrait package thats somewhere between I care but I dont need my sons face on a kitchen towel. 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Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 16, 2024
Some days I do well playing sports with my kids.
Other days my wife watches and has to shout at the kids, \"Daddy's old! Stop making him run so fast!!\"
Some days I do well playing sports with my kids.
Michael Vogel (@MichaelVogel1) August 16, 2024
Other days my wife watches and has to shout at the kids, "Daddy's old! Stop making him run so fast!!"
Kids are wonderful and will leave many lasting impressions. My kids for example, made and left many crayon lines on the walls around the house.
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My kids for example, made and left many crayon lines on the walls around the house.
My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) August 12, 2024
Advertisement
Bring your own tools. Dont be the dad on college move in day working with the tiny wrench that came with the dresser.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 11, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Simon Holland","author_url":"https://twitter.com/simoncholland","cache_age":86400,"description":"Bring your own tools. Dont be the dad on college move in day working with the tiny wrench that came with the dresser. 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Dont be the dad on college move in day working with the tiny wrench that came with the dresser.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 11, 2024
I asked my 6 year old if he wanted to try out again for the school play and he said no I think Ill take a break from Hollywood.
@itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 14, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"@itssherifield","author_url":"https://twitter.com/itssherifield","cache_age":86400,"description":"I asked my 6 year old if he wanted to try out again for the school play and he said no I think Ill take a break from Hollywood. @itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 14, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"@itssherifield on Twitter / 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@itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 14, 2024
I suggest to my kid that she could leave her purse at home as she goes to spend the weekend at her grandparents house.
No, my money is in it.
What could you possibly need money for at Grammys house?
In case I need to make a bet
I suggest to my kid that she could leave her purse at home as she goes to spend the weekend at her grandparents house.
mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) August 11, 2024
No, my money is in it.
What could you possibly need money for at Grammys house?
In case I need to make a bet
My 6-year-old is looking at pictures of me when I was 18 and she keeps saying \"You still look the same!\" Might write her siblings out of the will and leave everything to her idk
Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) August 13, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Kristen Mulrooney","author_url":"https://twitter.com/missmulrooney","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 6-year-old is looking at pictures of me when I was 18 and she keeps saying \"You still look the same!\" Might write her siblings out of the will and leave everything to her idk Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) August 13, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Kristen Mulrooney on Twitter / 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parenting tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/best-parenting-tweets","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets"},"department":{"name":"Life","slug":"lifestyle"},"section":{"title":"Parenting","slug":"parents"},"topic":{"title":"Best Parenting Tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/life/topic/best-parenting-tweets"},{"name":"the good life","slug":"the-good-life","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/the-good-life","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/the-good-life","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/the-good-life"},"department":{"name":"Life","slug":"lifestyle"},"section":{"title":"Parenting","slug":"parents"},"topic":{"title":"The Good Life","slug":"the-good-life","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/life/topic/the-good-life"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My 6-year-old is looking at pictures of me when I was 18 and she keeps saying "You still look the same!" Might write her siblings out of the will and leave everything to her idk
Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) August 13, 2024
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