Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X , the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their schools lost and found section
Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 28, 2024"}">Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their schools lost and found section
Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 28, 2024
It's School Picture day, also known as \"I can't believe we paid $96 for these.\"
Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 28, 2024"}">It's School Picture day, also known as "I can't believe we paid $96 for these."
Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 28, 2024
My 4yo screamed at the top of his lungs at 6:45am this morning, we are staying at my in laws, so I said Im not sure everyone likes it when you scream like that. Then, from the other side of the room, my 18mo who last week could barely say 10 words, Winnie like it
Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 28, 2024"}">My 4yo screamed at the top of his lungs at 6:45am this morning, we are staying at my in laws, so I said Im not sure everyone likes it when you scream like that. Then, from the other side of the room, my 18mo who last week could barely say 10 words, Winnie like it
Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 28, 2024
My 6yo just learned the word , and he is not afraid to use it
meghan (@deloisivete) August 27, 2024"}">My 6yo just learned the word , and he is not afraid to use it
meghan (@deloisivete) August 27, 2024
There should be a product swap booth on the way into Costco, you can bring the massive package of snacks that your kid used to like and exchange it for the huge box of snacks that some other kid has rejected
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 29, 2024"}">There should be a product swap booth on the way into Costco, you can bring the massive package of snacks that your kid used to like and exchange it for the huge box of snacks that some other kid has rejected
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 29, 2024
Since we just did something you wanted to do, can we do something we want to do now? - my 6 year old daughter as we exited the circus
Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 25, 2024"}">Since we just did something you wanted to do, can we do something we want to do now? - my 6 year old daughter as we exited the circus
Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 25, 2024
3 yr old: At my next birthday will I go back to normal? Will I get littler again?
Me: no honey. Each birthday you get bigger. Youll continue to grow. Isnt that cool?!
3 yr old: starts sobbing.
3 yr old: At my next birthday will I go back to normal? Will I get littler again?
Molly Wadzeck Kraus (@MWadzeckKraus) August 25, 2024
Me: no honey. Each birthday you get bigger. Youll continue to grow. Isnt that cool?!
3 yr old: starts sobbing.
Marked safe from taking my kids grocery shopping on a Saturday afternoon.
Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) August 24, 2024"}">Marked safe from taking my kids grocery shopping on a Saturday afternoon.
Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) August 24, 2024
For the first half of my life, I thought you could only poop at home. Now I know you can poop anywhere
- my 5yo, unprompted
For the first half of my life, I thought you could only poop at home. Now I know you can poop anywhere
Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) August 26, 2024
- my 5yo, unprompted
Me: *Stops buying bagels after noticing my kid hasnt been eating the ones Ive been buying for weeks*
My kid that week: Can I have a bagel?
Me: *Stops buying bagels after noticing my kid hasnt been eating the ones Ive been buying for weeks*
SpacedMom (@copymama) August 26, 2024
My kid that week: Can I have a bagel?
My kids teacher gave her a packet of loose confetti that shes supposed to put under her pillow during the first week of school, and I dont understand why her teacher already hates me so much
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 27, 2024"}">My kids teacher gave her a packet of loose confetti that shes supposed to put under her pillow during the first week of school, and I dont understand why her teacher already hates me so much
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 27, 2024
My teen has informed us that when she has kids, shes going to limit screen time, take them hiking, teach them how to raise chickens and milk cows, demonstrate the value of work.
This is the same kid who wont take her shoes upstairs
My teen has informed us that when she has kids, shes going to limit screen time, take them hiking, teach them how to raise chickens and milk cows, demonstrate the value of work.
McDad (@mcdadstuff) August 27, 2024
This is the same kid who wont take her shoes upstairs
My kids acting shocked theres ants in my car like theyre not Hansel and Gretel leaving fuckin crumb trails.
@itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 28, 2024"}">My kids acting shocked theres ants in my car like theyre not Hansel and Gretel leaving fuckin crumb trails.
@itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 28, 2024
8: mom i look like one of those nut crusher guys
narrator: and from that day forth thats what the family referred to nut crackers as
8: mom i look like one of those nut crusher guys
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 25, 2024
narrator: and from that day forth thats what the family referred to nut crackers as
9 voluntarily turned off YouTube so I had to call 911 because he's obviously experiencing a medical emergency.
Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 25, 2024"}">9 voluntarily turned off YouTube so I had to call 911 because he's obviously experiencing a medical emergency.
Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 25, 2024
Adding hostage negotiator to my CV if I have to talk my 6yo down from one more pet idea
meghan (@deloisivete) August 28, 2024"}">Adding hostage negotiator to my CV if I have to talk my 6yo down from one more pet idea
meghan (@deloisivete) August 28, 2024
Just woken up and my 10yr old sees me.
10: You look like youre drowned.
Just woken up and my 10yr old sees me.
Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) August 26, 2024
10: You look like youre drowned.
Hi! Welcome to the new school year. Heres 75 emails to check 695 forms to fill out and 96 meet ups at extremely inconvenient times that parents with jobs and multiple children cannot attend.
@itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 27, 2024"}">Hi! Welcome to the new school year. Heres 75 emails to check 695 forms to fill out and 96 meet ups at extremely inconvenient times that parents with jobs and multiple children cannot attend.
@itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 27, 2024
What wine pairs with teaching your kid how to parallel park?
Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 29, 2024"}">What wine pairs with teaching your kid how to parallel park?
Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 29, 2024
Because I used to hate when I questioned my parents' about something and their response was, \"Because I said so,\" I promised myself I would never say that to my kids when I became a parent.
Turns out, some promises were made to be broken.
Because I used to hate when I questioned my parents' about something and their response was, "Because I said so," I promised myself I would never say that to my kids when I became a parent.
Hollie Harris (@allholls) August 27, 2024
Turns out, some promises were made to be broken.
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